Visit this site, and find a shelter near you. Then call them and ask for emergency shelter. Hurry up!
http://www.ndvh.org/
These shelters are kep secret, so if you leave when he isn't home, he will NOT find you. Go now, before he starts abusing the kids.Need help on a escape plan from a controlling husband...any advice?
if you can access your accounts take all the money out.
drive as far away as possible w/your kids
when you get there (as far away as you can get) find a shelter and a divorce lawyer and change your name and the childrens names (it will be harder for him to find you)
call a divorce lawyer today, explain the situation to him/her like you did to us
call the police, tell them the situation and get a restraining order
send the kids to live with a friend or grandma
move out asap...good luck
There are many other shelters. Be willing to drive far away with the kids, since that makes it harder for him to find you anyway. And take everything he says very seriously. You sound like you're in real danger.
When he's in the shower, call the police and ask them to help.Look harder for a shelter to go to. You are an adult and not a prisoner.
Call the police and start looking for a good layer this guy is nuts. He is a danger to you and your kids. You need to get divorce and get all rights to the kids.
when he goes to work, take all the money out of every account you can find...and drive away, find a safe place to live with your kids!!
Call 2-1-1 infoline and/or the police...they will come and escort you and the kids out immediately.
First of all - Make sure that you want to leave permanently - because if you ever come back - he will take it out on you!
Start planning now - how quickly you can get it together will determine how successful you are.
Take any money out any bank accounts (don't forget Savings and christmas club) that you can get - put as much cash in Money orders (that you can use undetected) Do not set up a new account in your name. Checks can be traced. You will need cash to survive - but do not want it to get stolen.
If there is not enough money - take anything with you that can be pawned or sold for money. Including the title to the car (if you have it) -
So you can sell it later - He will report the car stolen - and an APB will be put out for it - Trade it as soon as possible - or sell it and buy one from a private individual (like someone selling from their yard ) -They don't have to register the title - and have it mailed from the state DMV(as you will have no address) -Get a Bill of Sale signed from the person - and the title to the car. Pay in cash or MO -
If you don't have a car - Save enough money or pawn enough stuff to get one - You will have to have one to get away.
Do not cancel credit cards - they will notify him.
There are Domestic Abuse Councils and WIN(women in need) shelters in most states. But you need to get out of your town - and possibly out of your state to be safe. You need to go somewhere where he will not be able to find you. If you use the Internet - try to use one at the library or a neighbors' and erase the ';History'; - as he can backtrack and find your searches.
Once you have found a shelter that can take you in - and you have some cash to live on - You need to pack up the children and yourself- remember to take all medications needed, medical records, birth certificates, passports (if you have one), bedding(sleeping bags, pillows), child's favorite toy, non-perishable food, water or drinks. Clothes for now - and for fall and winter if you have them. Also - pack clothes that you can use to look for a job or work in - as you will need to suport yourself eventually. And maps -
You may have to ';live'; in your car for a few days or weeks - until you can find a shelter -and some shelter will only let you stay for a certain amount of time. But you need to keep moving.
Leaving will not be easy - but it will be better than not knowing if he will kill you or your children.
If you have a cell phone - do not take it with you (it has GPS- and can be tracked) - Purchase a pre-paid cell phone once you are out of the county where you live (you do not want someone recognizing you) -
Once you are out of the county - Call the police in your town from a different phone (and tell them that you are not ';missing or kidnapped'; (as your husband may report) - but have left your husband because he threatened your and your children's lives.
Stay at the first shelter only for a few nights -
Change your hair color and style -
Keep moving for the first few weeks - Find another one farther away - You'll need to become ';street smart'; and savvy. Do not trust anyone. Do not leave your belongings unattended at any time -where someone can steal them. Do not have all your cash( or money orders on you) - stash it in different places - some in the car - some in your luggage - some in a childs doll or stuffed bear(split the seam, then stitchit back together) -. Some pinned in a pouch inside your bra - where ever.
The shelter may have connections with a lawyer or services agency that can help you file for divorce. If you have never called the police or reported your husband for domestic abuse, it may be harder to prosecute. But not impossible. Making the call to the local police telling of the abuse will help.
Many shelters try to help women get jobs or get set up in housing - take whatever help is availble to get on your feet. Once your divorce is final - it will be filed in the state where you are living - you need to move again - as he can find out where you are through court records.
I wish you much luck and strength getting out of your situation. Remember that your children deserve to live in a loving, nuturing home - not a prison.
God Bless you -
Don't worry about his threats, if he even so much as pushes you call the cops and press charges. He keeps you by his side by making threats and making you feel afraid of him. It's like child abuse. The bigger and stronger one makes the smaller one afraid. The only way not to get pushed around is to let the abuser know you won't tolerate it. Once you leave get a restraining order, tell them you are afraid of him hurting you. Once you have a restraining order if he comes near you he will be arrested. You also have the right to defend yourself. http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=shelter鈥?/a>
you need to get out of there fast, dont delay any longer, theres bound to be a time when hes not at home, if he goes to work or 2 a friends whatever, as soon as he leaves call a taxi and leave...........go anywhere, there are other shelters for women and children get out of town fast, dont worry about possesions just take the clothes on your back and get out, if you dont do it now you might not be able to in the future, how could you llive with yourself when he hurts your children.............dont wait till then
Please do something put a plan in order and hurry up sounds like he has become emotional imbalanced or something bipolar something mentally and medical is going on with him to all of a sudden to change like that. But get out i am praying for you. Reach out to the few friends and family that you do have dont be ashamed and get some help immediatly you take care of yourself
I know what you are going through I once was in your situation about twenty years ago what i did was when my ex-husband left for work I took only a few clothes for changing for the kids two pairs of jeans for myself. closed all accounts didn't tell anyone because they will tell him took off and didn't look back. i left the car because he would have reported stolen i took a bus to another state.
Good Luck and may God be with you
There will be other refuges for you and your children to stay at, enlist the help of the local police, they will take you to one if you explain his threats and what is happening. Don't stay with him any longer than you have to, if possible, try and get some money together and pack a bag with your essentials and get the hell away.
I know what you are going through as I have been there myself. I owe a lot to the staff at our local women's refuge, they put me in touch with a solicitor who dealt with that kind of thing and I was able to get a restraining order and so on, one that carries the power of arrest to get him locked up if he contacts you is the one you want.
Good luck, there is help, reach out for it and don't put up with his threats any longer. xx
First of all that really scares me that you are in this situtation and i will do my best to help.I have been in a somewhat similar situation but i didnt have kids to worry about as well.so considering he wont let you leave this means you dont have a job which makes things a little bit harder.My recomendation to you is that you take your children and go to a local church and ask them if they can provide you shelter.This way your husband would never think to look for you in a church and you will have food and safety cause if for any reason he did find you no one there would let him near you. and the church can also help you get a job.these people help you even if you dont have a religion or even beleive in god they helped me and i am forever greatful i hope i helped good luck and if you can please update.good luck to you and your children
I would call the police and and ask for a police escort when you decide to leave reguardless of if he is home or not. If the local domestic violence shelter has closed then you are just going to have to go to on further away, which I would do anyways so it would be harder for him to find you.
I would take all your legal documents birth certificates ss cards mariage lisence, ect. I would take all the money you can out of the bank accounts. I would file a restraining order. Talk to a divorce lawyer about filing for legal seperation and divorce.
Call the police now... his ';Joke'; about the kids is all too freaky as a father of 2 I could never dream of hurting my kids, and would never joke.
Something is wrong with him, and if you don't act now you might not get another chance.
Check out these numbers on this URL and call one of them.
http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/resourc鈥?/a>
Make the choice to break the cycle before it might break you.
Yeah you need to run not walk away from this man.
If he is threatening suicide-murder against your children with him, you already know he is a piece of work.
Do you have any friends you can stay with? Surely they will understand your situation.
He is bad bad bad news.
Do not ever take his words for granted.
Good luck.
CALL THE POLICE! You don't make threats about waking up and finding everyone dead, then laugh about it. You need to leave, authorities by your side, and have him restrained. Police will hook you up with all the things you need to start a safe life for yourself and your children. I just left a control-freak, not nearly as scary as your situation, but close. You can't have any contact with him and you need to document everything so he can't do anything stupid and get away with it. Be prepared when you leave that he will turn into Mr. Nice Guy, but DON'T BUY IT. These guys don't change without serious mental help...and even then, it's sketchy.
Call the United Way. They may have information to direct you to a shelter. Whether it is in your city or somewhere else. If I were you, I would ask a friend to take me and just leave your stuff at home. He may have a tracking device on your car as nutty as he sounds. He just might find you. And don't forget about your cell phone too.
Get a prepaid cell phone.
Open a bank account in your name only. Start puting some cash in. Etrade has online accounts you can access any where.
Close any credit cards in both of your names. Open one in your name only and have it sent to a po box or a friends until you know where you are going.
oh my gosh. Well the last thing you might want to do is not tell the cops. He might seriously hurt you. Get a restraining order to him, then move to a new place were your friends or family aren't living, he might hurt them too. Just stay away from him. Good luck! =(
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