I'm so wrapped up in being a mommy, that I've lost interest in my husband. Need advice!?

We have a 6-month-old son, whom I love above everything in this world. I went back to work full-time a few months ago, so I like to spend all my free time with my baby. Basically, when I'm not at work, I'm at home cuddling with my baby and tending to his needs. Once I put him to sleep at night, I catch up on housework and other stuff I have to do.





My husband thinks I have lost all interest in him. He thinks I could do everything I do, and still pay attention to him the way I did before we had a baby. But I just don't feel I have the time or the energy to devote entirely to him. I know that's cold, but I try to make him feel as loved as I can.





And I feel that he's constantly pressuring me about sex. True, our sex life has suffered since we had the baby (from having sex almost every day, we've gone down to twice a week), but I don't think it's fair for him to blame it all on me. I'm just tired and overworked, and I would just like him to make me feel appreciated.





Help!I'm so wrapped up in being a mommy, that I've lost interest in my husband. Need advice!?
This is a common occurance even though I'm sure you feel alone in this. I had four kids and my husband went through this needy time after each. Men just don't get, that caring for a baby is exhausting and demanding. If they did all we do, they'd never make it! Also women go through hormonal changes after they give birth....the once sexy, ';ready at a moments notice'; woman has just become a mom and the maternal hormones kick in and baby becomes our first concern. The need to protect and nurture our young one becomes our main focus so obviously hubby gets pushed into the second position. Some men do better then others with it. Honestly, you'll just have to do the best you can. Your child is 100% dependent on you, your husband is not. This is just another part of how our lives and marriages change over the years. Parenthood can and does change the marriage dynamic but that's not to say it'll always be this way. It will get easier and things will get back to normal and I promise you, he will get used to the changes. Just remember, he's new to this as well so deal lovingly and gently with him so he knows that while he can't have ALL the attention, you still love and desire him.


The sex thing is not your fault...it's proven that many women desire it less after child birth, again due to hormonal changes. He has to love you enough to give you the time for your body to get back to normal. Every woman is different. Don't beat yourself up over this. Enjoy your new baby, make him part of that time and before you know it, things will feel right again.


Stay well and best wishes.I'm so wrapped up in being a mommy, that I've lost interest in my husband. Need advice!?
you dont want to have sex...HOW is THAT your husbands fault???


you want him to blame himself???


keep turning him down and soon enough he WONT WANT you anymore


your COMPLAINING that he STILL finds you DESIRABLE


typical woman


and whenhe looks elsewhere ... THAT will be HIS fault too


using your baby as an EXCUSE ...pathetic
Totally normal. Maybe you could try to involve your husband in the baby cuddling. My hubby and I (5 yr old daughter too) love to lay in the bed and ';ooh'; and ';aah'; at our new little boy. Hubby and I can chat with eachother while still being close to our kids.





As for the sex...when you find an answer...PLEASE share! lol My poor hubby has been a bit sex deprived since I was about 8 mo preg! I don't know if some guys will ever understand the ';too tired for sex'; argument. You could try to explain that it's not only physically tired, but emotionally and mentally tired too. Hopefully you two can reconnect soon and rekindle some passion. Try the babysitter...you gotta have some alone time too.





Good luck!
';He thinks I could do everything I do, and still pay attention to him the way I did before we had a baby'; NOOOOT


give him the baby for a day on a saturday, and let's see if he can do everything.. and see if he wants to romance you at the end of that very day..


this is extremely normal. everyone goes thru this... talk to him, and tell him how tired you get and you don't have the energy... but that it'll be ok soon. also try to find a babysitter, preferably one of your parents only for a couple of hours. that way you'll show him that you miss those days too and will try to accomodate. he won't understand it, and that's normal too. men aren't wired like women, unfortunately
I understand how it is to work full-time and have a baby at home. Gosh, 6 months is such a fun age,too! I dont blame you..


Heres what I would do:


Try to think of what is stopping you from spending time w/ your husband..if it's exhaustion, why not divide some of the household chores or let him watch the baby an hour each evening so you can get a break?


If it's the fact that you dont have enough time, then work out a schedule, pick 3 weekdays and one weekend day to do housework, the other 2 days, NO HOUSEWORK, let the home be a big mess, focus on your son and then your husband.


Lastly, ALWAYS pick one day that you can go on date night. Leaqve your son w/ a relative and go out w/ your husband once a week.





Good luck.
Hi, I can understand where your coming from as far as juggling your career and a family. But I'm sure you and your husband probably talked about the way things in your life's would change alot with having a new baby. And you both probably promised each other that you would stay devoted to each other after having the baby. Try if you can to let the house work go a time or two in the evenings. And show your husband your still the wife he feel in love with. I'm sure he is probably really missing you. And thinks he might even be losing you. You may see him as pressuring you to make love. But he is probably just trying to show you his love and affection for you in the way he knows how.I've been married 11yrs. now Been with my husband 18yrs. total. And we have 3 sons toghether. Youngest one is 3 mos old. So I've been down this road before. But if you give a little and take a little. And rely on each other it will all work out for you both in the end. May god bless and hope this helps.
What worked for my husband and I was to make sure that we would do housework duty with eachother so that we could share some time together while getting things done. We also cuddled while I breastfed. He would sit behind me and help hold the babies while I fed them. The thing is, some of your relationship has changed because of the baby but you have to learn to adapt. By both of you working closesly to raise the children you can regain intimacy and want to re-establish your sex life. My husband and I made it mandatory that we spend 20 minutes uninterrupted each day together just hanging out, watching TV and talking. This let us want to have our sex life back. Even grabbing 10 minutes in the shower for some fun may be enough to satisfy your husband's sexual needs. Thats how my husband and I went back to having sex about twice per day. It has certainly taken my stress away actually, sex and intimate moments with my husband has served as a minivacation from the business of motherhood.
I'll put it to you the way my mother put it to me. 'Children grow up and go on to lead lives of their own. Your spouse is the one who will be with you for the rest of your life.' You need to learn where you priorities lie. Your spouse should come before both your child and your job. Period.