I left my husband and took our son. Advice please?

I was living with my husband for 10 years. We have a 2 year old son. I suffered years of mental and emotional abuse and finally got out. Now he is promising me the world if I come back. I said NO. Now he is saying he is going to fight me for custody and win. Does anyone have any experience or advice please.I left my husband and took our son. Advice please?
no judge is going to take a kid from his mom unless the mom is a threat to the child's well being. he isn't going to win, but u do need an attorney, don't go to court without one, and don't sign anything. he will have to pay child support, and if your unemployed he will have to pay alimony to u for a time. make sure u tell the attorney about the abuse, and if there is any documentation like if the police were ever called on him, use that too. don't go near him, fight with him, hit him, because he can use anything like this against u.I left my husband and took our son. Advice please?
He is using emotional blackmail in hopes that you will give in and go back. There is actually a book called emotional blackmail - it would probably do you good to read it.


You need to document everything - and never speak poorly of your husband to your kid, or to the courts - just give them the facts. Otherwise, they will think you are being vindictive and think it be too hostile an environment for your son to be in.


If you don't want to consider joint custody with your husband, you have to have good reasons for this - not just because he was an *** to you. Especially since it wasn't physical, it becomes a more he said she said situation.


Most of all, you need to stand strong for yourself and your son. All he has against you is your ability to give in to him.
I congratulate you on your strength. It takes a lot to leave an abusive situation. Check with Legal Aid or your local bar association for a referral to a low or no cost family lawyer. Your husband may not actually want custody but is just saying so to intimidate or frighten you. You may want to go ahead and file for custody now, anyway. Both parents have an equal right to the child, absent any court order. Stay strong. I would recommend counseling for you - self esteem takes a bashing where there is abuse going on. Of course he is going to make promises but most importantly, consider your safety and the safety of your son, first. There is a national Domestic Violence hotline that can also give you additional information. Call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).





Best of luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Don't go back to him 10 years is long enough to take that kind of abuse!! You did yourself and your son a favor getting out of that way of life. He may make promises to change but if he didn't change in 10 years then he won't change now they are just empty promises to get you to come back. Now he is threatening to take your son in a custody battle? As long as you are a good and loving mother and the courts have no reason to believe otherwise he won't have a chance. Seek advice from a lawyer but as long as you provide a stable loving environment he doesn't stand a chance! Be strong and good luck!
First of all, good for you for finally getting you and your son out of that unhealthy home. Now that you are out, do not for any reason go back. If you left because of the abuse then take my word for it, it won't change, probably get worse. Now as to the custody, it is a threat and a threat only. What judge would give a child to an abusive natured man? Get a good attorney now, don't wait. Even if you aren't ready to file for a divorce you need to establish custody and child support. If you can't afford an attorney, go to the Social Services Department in your county and get information on legal aid in your area. Don't hesitate, he may beat you to it for one thing and for another thing you need to get child support established. Good Luck and stay strong.


Red
not even, look he is just talking **** trust me, even if he had the balls to take this to court, you can say that he abbused of you your whole time of relation ship, besides your the women. Look even if he promises you the world and the galaxy dont come back cause he will not change NEVER. he will keep abusing of you until you commit something stupid. So dont do anything, just keep your kid and find someone else or if your happy with what you have then keep it this way but whatever you do dont go back with him or let him winn....
He can say it all he wants - my ex did - but when it came down to it, I got full custody. No matter how much he threatens, the judge is the one who makes the decision. I would get an attorney ASAP. Call your state bar association if you don't know of any. Contact anyone who may have ever witnessed any of his mental/emotional abuse and have them document it. If you have kept a journal %26amp; written down any of these episodes, it will be helpful as well.





Stop %26amp; take a deep breath - you are away from him. The road will be tough, but stay strong for your son. You CAN do it. Just keep telling yourself - all he is doing is threatening you to try to make you back down. Don't give in to his threats.
Yes I been there where you are now. I can tell you this. Go get an order of protection on him and get custody of the child right then. You have to use old police records to get an order. They will order him away from you and the child or go to your local woman shelter. They will help you. They usually give you a 2 week order then you go back and get a 2 year order. I promise you that you will be able to have the child and full custody. He may have visits depends on you but they will help you with the custody. Right now neither one of you have custody and if he gets his hands on the child you may not see him again.
Get an attorney NOW, the custody is almost always awarded to the mother, he is trying to scare you, he has no love for you he only wants you back so he can abuse again so whatever you do do NOT go back to him, he is a classic abuser CONTROLLER and you need an attorney NOW so you can go over all this, you will win custody though esp when the abuse comes out...
Get yourself a lawyer. If you cant afford one, go to the legal aide office, and see what your options are. If you have any pictures of the abuse suffered, keep them. If you have any witnesses to the abuse, contact them. He is trying to scare you into coming back into an abusive relationship. He may be nice for a minute if you go back, then he will come up with some excuse as to why you ';made'; him beat you up again. I know that sometimes people fight. I know that sometimes it gets physical, but there is no excuse for a man just beating up on a woman because he had a bad day. It's crap, and dont go back for more!
I don't have experience, But the best thing to try to agree on is shared parenting. If he wants full custody, Fight him until there's no end. Get a good lawyer who know's what their talking about. Make sure their good though! I paid my lawyer $3000 and lost custody of my daughter who I raised the first 3yrs of her life without him wanting anything to do with her! Make sure you get a lawyer that only deals with child custody cases, I wish I would have done that now =[
It is nearly impossible for a mother to lose custody of a child. They have to be worst of the worst, and still might have custody.


So lawyer up, and get prepared for court.
Here is my advice. Never try to take a child away from one of the parents. If you think you deserve full custody, you are wrong. The child is just as much his as it is yours. Stop being greedy and selfish.
If he abused you in ANY way, you can put that against him and he will not get custody. They do not award custody to the abusive parent.
some1 close to me went through the same thing.





move country if u have to.probably best idea.dont let him have any contact with u whatso ever.after all he will take ur son and ur life.





get out, and stay out of his life if u know u deserve better.
Did you expect him to say he'd fight for custody and lose?





It would be highly unlikely that he would be awarded custody. Please consult a lawyer. You're going to need one.
you have more rights than him.. but get a lawyer anyway to help you .i hope you win .. and you did the right think in leaving him .. good on you
Why is he going to win custody? If he has abused you then the court will need to know this. Do you have exact dates and such? You need an attorney asap
Do you have proof of how he treated you? If you don't, I suggest you get some if you don't plan on going back with him.
Get a lawyer. You're headed to court.





I have no clue as to your claims so I can't take a side. But you are going to court.
Get a family lawyer right away!
Get a job, lawyer, life. In that order and do not worry about the future.
Give him back his son.
Yes a job, lawyer, and a life sounds good to me.
shouldnt you have gotten advice BEFORE u decided 2 leave? duh
He will win. It's 2009