I am furious w/my husband. I need advice. He went to a strip club two weeks ago and stayed out til 3am.?

I only found out because his friends girlfriend told me about the boys nite out. He told everyone I knew and he got in trouble. I am 5 months preg. I feel very unattractive and this just puts the icing on the cake. It's not like he is the best husband to begin with. I haven't talked to him since I found out four days ago. I am always the one to bring up the problem and try to fix things and I am sick of it. Has anyone been in this situation?I am furious w/my husband. I need advice. He went to a strip club two weeks ago and stayed out til 3am.?
Men like to look at something a little more than wives/girlfriends sometimes. I'd rather my fiance go to a strip club with hotter girls than me than try to nail anything in sight. Strip clubs are pure fantasy...nothing more.





You need to work on your insecurities and self-esteem and learn to just chill out. Don't pull the lame and childish silent treatment. Be an adult, let him know it hurt you, but that you're willing to understand and listen to why he went out. A man is a visual, sexual creature by nature. If you attempt to force him to suppress his fantasies, you're asking for trouble. And in the meantime, learn to be more trusting.





You're having a child with him -- grow up and act like an adult and learn to communicate.I am furious w/my husband. I need advice. He went to a strip club two weeks ago and stayed out til 3am.?
I would be furious too. He sounds very disrespectful. He does not need to be ogling over naked woman or wasting his money on them either. He is a husband and a father he should be doing things with his family. PLUS he cheated on you before. He could easily do it again. Ask him how he would feel if you were to go out and watch naked men.
#1: If my husband did that, I'd get a divorce.


He obviouslt doesnt love you enough to realize that when you say you LOVE someone, there is no one else. Period. No one elses body. No one elses face... Just YOU. If he said he LOVED you, then he either wants to look elsewhere or he doesnt love you like he though he did.
I totally know what you are going through. It was a boyfriend for me though not a husband. I suggest trying to talk to him on how you felt when you found out about it, try not to get upset with him and see how he takes it. If he gets all defensive and does not see to care about your feelings that you need to do some hard thinking about what is best for you and your baby. When I was with my ex boyfriend and he would do stuff like that to me he never seemed to care about how it made me feel. Finally I had enough and decided to make myself happy and I left him. To this day he totally regrets how he treated me and wishes that he had me back. Either way you decide to handle it you just need to make sure you are making decisions that will make you happy. Life is short, enjoy it and have fun with it. You only get one life to live. Good luck
you didn't say whether or not your husband has a ';guys night out'; once in a blue moon or whether he does it all of the time?





i think that, if he does this stuff all of the time, then there is a problem.





men go to strip clubs sometimes, it's not like the girls who are stripping are interested in the customers (most are NOT), and this is male entertainment... we women just have to live with it....





meanwhile, i'm sorry you're feeling unattractive.





if he is a bad husband, maybe you need to tell him how you feel about your lives together.





if he wants to work things out, he will respond to ';i feel neglected, i feel unattractive, i feel you don't care'; or whatever it is you are feeling.





you might ask him what you think the two of you can do to improve the marriage if that is what you want.





take care of YOU... hugz
I understand totally how you feel.....Your hormones are high and your probably stress out.....The important person here is your baby.....You need to hold yourself together for the sake and health of your baby...You don't want to stress the baby out because your only going to make the rest of your pregnancy difficult and maybe even your delivery.....You need to strongly express yourself to him and tell him that its not about him not even about you but, about your child...If he's not going to be the Man and Father in this family and straighten out his act then your going to consider leaving him....You can't live your life like this...You have a baby on the way who needs you and who will depend on you......Best of Luck***
at least he came home to you...yes, he should have told you. But, the way you are reacting, i see why he didn't. They don't really get anything out of going to these clubs, just look and a little touch...


I know how you feel being pregnant, been there...just focus on yourself...and be positive


I would also talk to him about it...you never know what is goign on in his head...
he should have more respect for you, since you are carrying his child. ask him how he would feel if rolls were reversed.. once you have ur baby and down the road, tell him he can stay home.. you are going out. and tell him if he's gonna be disrespectful of you then he need not be around at all.. if he wants to go out with his friends and even be out till 3 am is fine but dont' hide it.. if he's hiding anything usually it means there is somethin he's done that he's ashamed of.
been there ... dont that ... i do not envy you..





does you husband know how you feel about strip clubs? are you against them or only for now because youre pregnant? being 5 months pregnant...i think that you must look really cute..all pregnant women are...something about them





you also said that he is not the best guy... maybe you need to stop and think about why you are in this marriage..if this is where you want to be .. and can you live this way for the rest of your life? life is too short if you are always going to be miserable.





guys arent worth crying over..and the ones that are, wont make you cry. i soooo believe in this saying...





a relationship should have trust, honesty, love, respect and lots of communication!!! Dr phil once said that if he does it behind your back and is afraid to tell you..thats cheating!!! he knew you wouldnt approve ... (cheating doesnt have to include sex)





you deserve to be loved and cherished...especially now while being pregnant.... try to sit and talk with him about everything you feel...but dont yell and point fingers.. try to talk it out with him. maybe write yourself a few notes so you dont go off track with the conversation... if you or he starts getting mad...you need to walk away and try again in a little while..





i wish you the best...and good luck to you and your baby...





remember...its better to have 2 happy single parents than to have the parent together and be miserable....children can feel this even at a young age...
How long have you been married? I dont know what to say about the whole strip club thing because my husband would never go to one. But if he where to stay out till 3 am I would be so mad at him. You should bring up to him how you feel and he should be the one to fix the problem.
Do you think not talking to him is going to fix the problem?


He's probably relieved the he doesn't have to listen to you yelling at him.





What are you trying to accomplish?


Are you trying to ';punish'; him by not talking to him? You are not his mother. It's not up to you to punish him or to try and correct his ';bad'; behavior.


If he is going to change, it's up to him. You cannot change HIM.





What you CAN change is the way you RESPOND to him. That may have more of an effect than anything else.





If his trip to the club upset you, then you should sit down, calmly and tell him it upset you and explain why. Explain to him that it's not the trip to the club that upset you. It's his lack of concern for how what he does makes you feel. He needs to understand that he might not understand why it bothers you and he might think it's silly but that should not matter. If it bothers you, you expect him to respect that.





You also need to tell him that keeping it from you while everyone else knew about it made you look really stupid and that hurts your feelings. It was dishonest and mean. Tell him that the two of you are a team and he needs to treat you like team member, not an outsider.





Let him know that you appreciate that he is a normal healthy guy that needs to have a ';guys night out'; every now and then but you need him to please respect your feelings and try and plan other outings besides strip clubs (go to the shooting range, bowling, go-cart racing, sports events, golf..there are dozens to choose from) .





He needs to apologize to you. Not for going out to the club (unless you had an agreement that he would never do that ahead of time) but for lying to you about it and hiding it from you. Dishonesty has no place in a marriage.





For yourself, get over it. If you are still mad at him four days later, you have a problem. That isn't how adults resolve problems. That's how teenagers and children act. Since you have a child coming into the world shortly, you had better learn how to get over being angry or your relationship with your kid will suffer as well. Being angry is only making YOU look like the shrew wife and keeping you upset. It has no effect on him other than reinforcing that he should NEVER tell you anything.





I understand that you don't feel attractive right now and what your husband did only made it worse. I would be hurt too. But how you feel is YOUR problem. Certainly, he needs to be respectful of your feelings. But YOU need to get over yourself. It's not your husband's responsibility to make you ';feel'; pretty. You need to find a way to do that yourself. Admittedly, it's hard when you are pregnant. Cut yourself a little slack for that. Pregnancy is what it is. It's over in a short time. You need to find a way to enjoy it instead of feeling unattractive . Go get your hair or nails done. Spring for some nice, attractive maternity clothes (ugly cheap ones only make you feel ugly). Get a pedicure, a facial, whiten your teeth. Do something to make yourself feel more attractive.





It's concerning that you say he's not a great husband to begin with. That's really critical. If you are giving him that impression, he is probably doing all he can to live up to your very low expectations!


Instead of saying things like that, why don't you try focusing on what you admire about him. Certainly there is something. After all, you married and and liked him enough to get pregnant. Stop and really think about your husband's positive traits. Focus on those. TELL him how much you admire those things about him once in awhile. If you start complimenting him, he make take the hint and do it back to you! Wow! Wouldn't that be nice.





Hey, listen, most wives are the problem solvers in the family. It's the way it goes. We are designed to multi task better then men which makes it easier for us to live our lives AND solve problems. Guys are perfectly capable of doing it too. But we are better. It's just the way it is. What is more important to you, WHO brings up the problems and finds solutions or that the problems actually GET solved? Does it really matter who does what? You are a team. You have to do what is best for the marriage. Not what you want or what he wants but what the marriage NEEDS to grow.





If you want your husband to be more of a problem solver in the family, give him the chance to do it. Sit down with him and tell him what the problem is and then ask him ';what should we do';. And give him a chance to figure it out. Don't criticize his mistakes or decsision. Be a partner and support him.





I understand about being sick of it. Really I do. Been married 15 years myself. But we marry ';for better or worse';. If this is the worst it gets, it's not that bad! :)





good luck with your new little one


And go have a girls night out (no strip clubs!). Sound like you need it ! Show him it can be done without nudity and drinking!!!
He went to a strip club, he wasn't meeting other girls just enjoying a boys night out. Honestly it's not that bad.
well, at least if he came home at 3 am he came home right after they closed...not hours later...if you get my drift.


If he is not the best husband, then why are you married to him?


Pregnant women should feel beautiful as they are carrying a new life inside of them


If you are tired of fixing things then leave them broken.


if you don't want to talk to him then don't


BUT


You are the one who chose to marry him, get pregnant by him and also who keeps trying to fix things so there must be something about him you like.


most girls who work in strip clubs are in it for the money only and actually have a family at home they go home to every night anyway.





help any?
OK, so you're mad at him. Don't you think 4 days is long enough?


And stop bringing up points to argue about. Can't you talk to him about anything else?





Look, he was just having some fun with his buddies. Now if he continues to go, then you do have a situation that needs to be addressed.


But for now, stop stressing. He is a grown man, while you have a baby inside of you that needs to be the focus.
no big deal. he is just looking. pick your battles. it was just a boys night out. until he actually does something to break your trust, and boys night out does not count, i would not think it is any big deal. and yes, about 15 years or so ago, my husband went with one of his friends, and i did not think it was a big deal then. and yes, i was pregnant. sure, you are probably not feeling very attractive, but don't let it get you down. being pregnant is a beautiful thing, enjoy it while you can. good luck.
Congrats on your pregnancy. You are very emotional at this time and its to be expected. He should be aware of this. On the other hand, what do you think the women at the strip clubs are looking for? Find a guy..NO they want the money. That's usually it. If you think about it, isn't he safer going there than a bar where there are women looking for a guy?
Yeah me,my wifes a moan just like you.
Grlfrnd! Have you heard the name call Mrs. Fix it. He could be tired of you remodeling his/yours life...Could it be that he went out to the wrong place to relieve tention...


To have a man happy the woman must understand him more and love him less and in return the man must love the woman more and not to understand her at all....When you both met you felt attractive to him on some instance and him with you but you see you decided to start remodeling your relationship with out his approval and therefore his what he is.....


It brings me back in one of my nights I went out with the boys and I was suppose to be home at 11 pm, well we were having so much fun that I lost track of time and I got home at 3 am. My wife put the dead bolt lock so I would not be able to come in the house and she stood on the otherside of the door pissed and yelling out that she is not going to open the door...I reply to her is ok baby I just came over to tell you that me and the boys are still having fun and I will be home at later time...She there and then open the door....Now lets reverse the situation. My wife and her sister went out and they both lost track of time I waited for her untill 2 am so I gave up and I went to bed did not know what time she showed up at home...Did I lock the dead bolt or did I yell at her or did I make a fuss about it, No! All I did was I serve her breakfest in bed an ask her if she had fun last night.....Marriage is about honor/obey/respect each other is not about demand or where you can be with a leash or where you can not be with out a leash..... Good luck!
I have not been pregnant and had my husband visit a strip club but I know that men have this little boy desire to want to be wanted. I am not blaming you for anything, but if you want your man, you need to do whatever you need to do to keep your man home and enjoying your sexual relationship to capacity. Talk to him. Find out why he visits these places. He probably wants you to be more of a participant. Suprise him! Dress up in your best and be sexually open toward him. Spice up your love life.
Why don't you relax, or don't. If he's not the best husband to begin with, why are you pregnant? The other side of the story is: it's a stripclub, honey, not a whorehouse. My wife actually likes to go to the strip clubs and allows me to be me. In turn, because of the freedom she allows me, I have no reason to be rebellious against her. Is he not the best husband because he doesn't do whatever you ask. He's a man. He's never going to stop being a man. He's going to do man things. You married a man, not another woman or some little sissy guy who wears capris and takes care of your every need. Congrats on being pregnant. DOn't make it harder for yourself by not talking to him. Not a good start to a life with kids, in my opinion. If you can't talk about the problem, maybe don't bother being angry. I know these aren't the answers you want to hear, I'm sure, but take it easy. Your pregnant. Don't let it all bother you. Hubby is probably stressed out too and really won't have much freedom left in a few months.
Nothing will make You happy! Are You angry


because he went to a strip club or


because he stayed out til 3:00 or


becuase he hasn't jumped You lately or


because he doesn't help with the baby or


because You don't look great or


because.......





Take a breath and relax. Try being nice to him...
He just wanted to see some bouncing t*its. He doesnt care about them strippers. He just needed to get away for a while. Dont be so mad.
Well the thing is do u trust your husband? He must know that U were going to be upset, other wise he would have told u himself. My view on strips clubs are they are a way to get your man ready so when he gets home he cant keep his hands off u! Try asking him if the next time he goes, u can go with him. If he says no, strip clubs are for men and it's no place for a woman, then u know he's up to no good. But if he says yeah he'd love for you to come then go have a good time and afterwards remind him why he married U!
You should talk to him about it and explain why your pissed off and tell him it was a lousy thing to do.





Also, realistically, your husband and most guys do still like checking out attractive women, naked women, porn, etc. Whether they'll act on that is another thing. Some do and some don't. Most fantasize about doing other women, so just get over it.
Get ready for a long life.





He's not going to change.
LEAVE HIM AND SAVE WHAT LITTLE SELF CONFIDENCE YOU HAVE LEFT...SERIOULSY, YOUR MAN HAD SOME OTHER YOUNGER WOMANS BALD PUSSSSY ALL OVER HIS JEANS (SERIOULSY) AND SHE PROBABLY FELT HIM OVER HIS HIS JEANS, YOU KNOW HE HAD HER **** IN HIS MOUTH (DONT BELIEVE HIS LIES) HE MOST LIKELY GRABBED HER *** AND GOT A HARD ON...WHAT REALLY MAKES ME SICK IS THE FACT HE HAD SOME OTHER WOMANS VAGINA ALL OVER HIM, AND SHE WAS MOST LIKELY NUDE UNDER HER MINI AND NOT WEARING A BRA...how do I know this...I worked in stripped clubs and ANYTHING goes...dont believe his lies..if he loved you he wouldnt have done that...just rid yourslef of him...he is bad news.
u r pregnant n so its normal to look bad at this time of pregnancy..once u reach trimester u shud be doing good... start talking to him..lack of communication only make things worse...why dont u sweetly tell him that next time if he decides to go to strippers club , u want him to take u along or let you know so that u dont worry..mostly probably he woulnt go from now...
So sorry to hear this. I hope it works out. I'd like to say it will but he should be over the boys nite out crap.





He was probably out that late because it takes that long to get drunk enough to pretend its ok to get a blowie from a stripper.
sort answer: tell him how you feel, communicate.
Yes I have and my ex wife did this to me and I asked her why she went she told me her friends dragged her there. I cannot understand the point and checking out someone you cannot hope to have sex with and get all worked up for nothing. If you are having his baby then he needs to have some more respect for you and to put his money towards his child not some over the hill skank who could care less about him. I hope it works out, forgive him and tell him that is the last time, next time he can move into the strippers house.
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you have a healthy marriage. There is no communication and no trust. Those are the foundations to happy and successful marriage. Both of you are entitled to a little fun with your friends but when you have to start lying to each other about it, there is a problem. You should look at the general picture of the marriage and see if its even worth pursuing