Need advice about husband please help?

Okay a few weeks ago my father In-law passed away and my mother In-Law cannot do anything for her self so I offered for her to move in with us she does not want to move she wants to stay in her house but in the mean time my husband has to do the lawn, pay her bills, and go there every day and if he is not there then she will call him like 5 times in 5 hours. She is putting allot of stress on our relationship and we are fighting all the time. We have 2 kids 5 and 2 1/2 . His brother is an alcholic so we are having some more problems with that being he complains all the time about it but never says anything to him about it. I wake up every morning do laundry get my self and both kids ready for school get them dressed feed and off to school I work from 8 to 4:30 then when I get home from work I have to cook dinner and get the kids bathed and ready for the next day of school. My husband keeps making rude comment to the kids like mommy never plays with you or that I don't help withNeed advice about husband please help?
Just because he lost his father gives him no right to be rude to you. Your not wanting to be rude, so what's his excuse? I understand about helping his mother through this hard time, and maybe he is just stressed from the whole situation. I would start by sitting down and talking with him, telling him how you feel, and how he makes you feel. Don't blame, or start accusing, or call names. If he responds in a negative way, then just stop the conversation, and go about your business. He will calm down sooner or later, and maybe you can try talking again. Has he always been involved with his kids? If so, then maybe he is being cruel out of his own guilt. Some people don't know how to handle emotions, and become sarcastic or mean to hide their actual feelings. I hope you can get this worked out!Need advice about husband please help?
I don't understand why he has to go there everyday. Why not 3 times a week or so. He isn't mowing her lawn everyday and paying her bills everyday is he? He is just making her become dependent on yourselves rather then living as a widow. I assume she can still get her own meals and do housework. He could call her on the days he doesn't stop in.
I can understand that he wants to help his mom but is she can't care for herself then she needs to move somewhere. Either in with you (not the best idea), a community for elderly people or a nursing home.





Your husband, while being appluded for helping his mom, he needs to remember that YOU and the kids are his family now.
You have to talk to him and set some ground rules here. From my viewpoint there is no way around it if you want to stay married. He has a family - 2 kids and you that have to come 1st.


Ask him what the two of you can do together to fix this situation. A few weeks is not very long but I bet it feels long!


A few options is to get someone to move in with his mom to help her out or for her to move in with you but that might be MORE stress having her their all the time.


1st come up with some plans, some ideas,and work on them 1 at a time. try to change 1 thing every so often. If you pile all on at once it may back fire! I know with my hubby I approach a thing or two a conversation for him to get done.


Also you can make him think. Instead of you cooking dinner every night go out with the kids - spend some time with them. Set some time even if some things are not done in the house and have some fun with the little ones.


Also is it possible to get some help with your laundry and cleaning? If it is possible some place do it really cheap once a week.


You need to find some ways to unwind so you can think clear and make sure you talk to him. He is your husband 1st but be understanding. It has not been a long time but some things obviously do need to change.





Good luck!
I would tell him that he can do one of two things, do it himself or keep his mouth shut. The way I see it, you're the SAHM that works. We're in the same boat. I feel for you. You're drowning right? Tell him straight out that you feel like you're overloaded and could use some help. I understand about his mom, but he has a responsibility to his family too.





I had this similar problem, and my husband called me lazy. So I put it to him like this.... since men are visual creatures... I said I felt like I was drowning, that I could see a life raft, but he was holding me down to stay up himself. So in essence, while hes trying to stay afloat, hes making my life harder by keeping me under the water. He was dumbfounded that I put it like that... and let me tell you... I have a lot more help around the house and a lot more appreciation at the load that I do. You can tell him until you're blue in the face, or you can draw him pictures.... Pictures seemed to work best for me. 3 years of trying and the one conversation got it. Good luck to you, and if no one else has said it.....





Thanks for all you did today, as a mom, a wife, a housekeeper, an employee, a cook and a taxi driver. Thanks for every day that you put in your 24 hours of work with little rewards of even a thank you. Thank you for taking care of your family....