Need Advice! My husband wants to move away! Help!!

We are newlyweds, just married May 17,2008. My husband and I both grew up in the same town, he now has asked me to move away from our hometown. I have a very close family and don't want to leave them behind, but I also want to make my husband happy and he says he is not happy in our hometown. He wants to move 8 hrs away. I want my children to be able and see their grandparents and grow up around my family. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you in advance!Need Advice! My husband wants to move away! Help!!
Oh please, 8 hours is nothing. Your children, if you even have children, can still see their family. Just imagine how short the flight would be! You need to grow up and have your own life and that might mean moving away from your family, but that is life. If you're holding yourself and your husband back just because you need your mommy and daddy so close, maybe you weren't ready to get married at all. Hell, you probably weren't even emotionally ready to graduate high school. Need Advice! My husband wants to move away! Help!!
You are the meat of a Sh*t sandwich! You love him and want to please him. Now that you are married you owe it to him to communicate. You're wants and needs to stay close to family are admirable. You must figure out a way to do both. If he is seeking employment 8 hours away, and you don't let him go, he will grow to resent you and it will be a constant battle. I think you should support his decision and agree to move. However, the negotiation and expectation of him is that you visit your family whenever you wish. 8 hours is on days drive. Not that big of a deal. You can also welcome your family to visit as often as they like. You husband cannot deny this expectation. Marriage is about negotiation of cooperation. You can do this. Just look at the whole picture. Love and cooperation can and will make this work..for everyone.
Well you are a family now, he will be leaving his behind as well, grow up and move away. When you have been together for awhile, and have made a life for yourselves, without all the family butting in, you can come back as a stronger couple, with a sense of pride that you made it work. To many times family gets in the way of couples being able to work though their problems themselves.
this points to some fundamental communication issues here. if he was not happy in your hometown, and intended to move, this should have been discussed before the ';i do's';. however, that it is a moot point. did he just get a job offer in this other place? would it be lucrative? what are the reasons that he doesn't like your hometown? if you got all of this out in the open, you might understand more where each other is coming from. i think that the two of you need to come to some sort of happy middle ground. how about moving somewhere else, but say, an hour outside of your hometown? this way, the grandparents could come often but you would still be far enough away. just realize that you are married now, your husband will have to come first...not your family. you might have to leave them eventually.
I have had this problem before. My husband asked me to move to TX from Southern CA, away from my family. You don't have kiddos yet, so they are not even in the mix of this decision. Your relationship with YOUR HUSBAND takes precedent over your mommy and daddy. You kids will not know any different and 8 hrs is not that big of a deal. Nurture your marriage. You are not a child anymore and throwing a temper tantrum is not the answer.


Compromise and find a place half way in between where he wants to go. Think of it as an adventure. Your parents will respect you as an adult, and they will find a way to visit when you do have kids.





PS I moved to TX with my hubby and two kids and my family ended up following me here! We now all live within miles of each other and love our new life! See ';happy endings'; do exist!
the move should depend on if it's a better job, better home, better sercumstances for you both. you don't want to go were you have nothing to start with times are hard for everyone now. family will always be there and we always find away to see and stay in touch with them. i have family everywhere but we still get together and stay in touch and i think it makes you closer because you look forward to seeing each other...
When you said your vows, you became one. Your husband is your family and you need to break the apron strings.





Ruth told Naomi, whether thou go-est, I shall go. Whether thou lodge-st, I shall lodge. Thy people shall be my people, thy God, my God.





God has that same principle for us with our marriages. A wife is to go with her husband. They are to discuss the issue at hand and then she should leave the final decision up to him. As he is supposed to be the head of the home. When he makes the final decision, she is to support that decision without any arguement. She has already said her peace and is to now leave it alone. Support him and stand by him.
that's hard. you're going to have to weigh the options. is it a better move career wise or financially? does the new place have good schools. how is the real estate.....and so on.


it may be a better. it's hard leaving your family. sometimes you just have to do what's better for your immediate family.





if he just wants to move just to move, i'm sure there places that are closer to your family.
Hard to have children when your husband is 8 hrs away. As far as the childrens grandparents there is always visits, 8 hrs is not that far of a drive.





Also when he moves, does he have a job lined up already? Cash for an apartment? etc etc? If not it might be awhile till a move happens.
You should not move so far away if you know it will not benefit YOU...





Deep decisions like this require BOTH parties to be happy - not just one.





Good luck.
8 hrs away isnt that far.





You are married now and that means your husband comes first.
I was in a similar situation.. I lived in Pa all of my life, and all my family is there although we are not a close family. after 3 years together, my husband gave me an ultimatum telling me he was moving to Florida and I either tag along or stay there.... so here we are in Florida. its been 5 years here, sometimes I get lonely with no family close by. and think it is hard on my daughter that doesn't get to see her grandparents. But its not that bad, we can do what we want and not have family nagging or all in our business. :)


If youre really not up to it, you will hate it and be miserable.. so talk to him and let him know how you are feeling with it, and maybe you can come to some type of agreement, and move away but not that far away.. good luck.
This was Something which should have been ironed out bfore the wedding!!!





Is this a new thing with him? Perhaps therapy would open some doors and resolve some issues. Why does he feel so strongly about leaving for a place 8 hours away, which is approximately 600-750 miles away?


This is a MAJOR change in ones'[ lives.





You should be in on his therapy sessions...something came up which he has not told you about. I would be empathetic, but please make SURE you hold your ground. You are NOT to give in to his demands, which are totally unreasonable at this juncture.





You say something about children. Do you have them yet/ and how old? You indeed do have the right in any case NOT to move and he cannot take the kids under the law if you want them......If you do have kids, you will and he will disrupt their lives too and you will be miserable for a while and maybe permanently.





There was a movie years ago with Loretta Switt and I believe Steve Lawrence in which he, an unhappy executive, wanted to move and she meanwhile decoded to reassurect her career as a designer. She held her ground despite his demands. See the film.





You do not give enough info, but certainly, do NOt in any way agree to this without at least one full year of therapy for him and you. This is absurd. If he leaves, so be it. End the marriage. This insistence of hm appears to be a compulsion and perhaps a generalized emotion swamping him....he might need some deep professional evaluations for behavioral and emtoaional disorders, which I feel he should take.