Any advice on how a husband falls out of love with his wife overnight?

So my husband leaves me (his wife) and 2 young children on Wednesday. He comes over yesterday after not talking to us to get his mail. He tells me hes just not in love with me anymore. Meanwhile couldnt even look me in the eye. Ive never had to deal with this and would love to hear from anyone who has. Is this just an excuse to cover up something else? Or can people really have a decent (or so I thought) marraige and life to just turn around after NO signs of this- and say he just doesnt love me anymore?


~Beyond Confused~Any advice on how a husband falls out of love with his wife overnight?
I'm sure you are confused and lonely. The human mind is so complex that trying to guess why he feels this way is impossible without getting to know the situation.





Men are more complex in their emotions, generally than are women and often express them much less.





My 2nd wife left me and my young son when he was five months old. That is now almost 30 years ago, but I am not sure I'll ever really know what was in her head. our sex life was excellent and she told me so, even after she left and I was a good provider who never abused her in any way. It is just so hard to tell.





After a bit of time I met and married a wonderful girl and we have been together for 26 years. She raised both my kids (I had a daughter by a 1st marriage, my first wife passed away).





It is hard, but the most important thing are those kids and hopefully he will still be a part of their lives. You might see if he will go to marriage counseling, but if no, there isn't much you can do. Also important is that you maintain good self-esteem, which is hard when you are rejected by someone, but try to remember you are a worthy person and focus on you and your kids and not why he did this.





Still it is hard and individual counseling might help you to feel better. Someday, you will meet another person who will love you and your kids, but don't be in a hurry.





I was devistated after losing one wife and another leaving, but was blessed with my present wife.





I wish you the best and I am sorry for what you are enduring.





I hope this helps a little bit anyway.Any advice on how a husband falls out of love with his wife overnight?
Love I am So sorry - this must be awful for you. Yes of course he cant look you in the eyes, he knows hes been underhand and terrible. It is difficult to say, but my feeling on this is that he may have someone else. Evidence of this is that he has been ';fine'; towards you, probably not wanting to give you any reason for suspicion. If it was just a case of ';falling out of love';, there would have been signs :- e.g less affection, less sex, interests in other things, distance emotionally. So as I said working on what you have described hes not being honest about the situation. Men will always look for an easy way out - without the trauma if possible. Either way, he does not deserve you love. Be strong, you are a capable lovely women who deserves to be loved wholely. If your husband doesn't then there are lovely men out there who will.





Look ahead, focus on the future and what you want for yourself and the children. You will have to be brave - but we women always are! Hundreds of women have done this and you can too. Good Luck and bless you. x
Yeah, you'll find a lot of women that have been through this %26amp; generally the men who do this have left for someone else altogether. However the problem is that he didn't fall out of love with you overnight, the signs were there {the question is did you notice them?}





I know it hurts but the best thing you can do is move on, the best way to get back at him is to be successful in life and not need him anymore...With that kind of attitude he'll need you before you need him.





Good luck
Nobody suddenly falls out of love, except in the case of a revelation of deceipt.





Did the two of you talk, even argue/fight, regularly? That is critical in sustaining a healthy relationship. Chances are his sade of the marriage was never built on love.





However, there is also just the possibility that he is going through a bigtime midlife crisis. A man cannot walk out on his little kids and have no natural bond that hurts to sever.





That he could not look you in the eye, suggests guilt -- as you probably inferred yourself. He probably feels he needs more out of a relationship than the reality of everyday life. Perhaps he is having a fling and that has stoked fires of adventure not felt since dating years. Or he is seeking that and moved out because he cannot deal with doing it while there.





Before going nuts over those possibilities, do bear in mind that it is absolutely true that such feelings on his side are not the same as a woman's in the same situation. Men are more basic and sexual, not emotional (though we think we are), and a big part of it all is the conquest.





I've never dealt with this from either side and do feel for what you must be going through. Divorces are a horrible reality of modern life. My personal feeling is that people are entirely too selfish and unwilling to try to make it work. Also a lot of people get married and have kids for weak reasons.





Good luck!
He has found someone else. I have seen it lots of times. Nobody falls out of love ';overnight.'; It sucks, no one wants to go through a divorce, but even if he does come back, he has cheated on you and it would never be the same. Call a lawyer, talk to friends, you will get through this.
Dear Beyond Confused......It is not possible for someone to fall out of love with you overnight, being that they ever loved you to begin with. The reason he can't look you in the eye is GUILT%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; I can bet it is another woman, would put money on it...And yes, he is trying to cover up something, his unfaithness. There are very few that will actually come out and tell their spouse that they have found someone new. They are too much of a coward to do that so they try to turn it around and holler, I'm not in love with you anymore. These men will even find excuses for their affairs, like you didn't do this and you didn't do that. All it is, is that they can't find fault with themselves so they have to turn it around and try to make it your fault that they longer love you. Trust me, if it's not a another woman I would be surprised. Just try to be around him and watch it, watch his mannerisms, the way he dresses, the way they acts overall. I pray for your and your childrens sake I am wrong but this is what it sounds like to me,. Oh, I am speaking from experience, Mine did it to me after a 28 year marriage...
Move on with your life. Make him pay child support and do his half to raise the kids.


Chances are hes gotten himself tied up with some no good skank and thinks the grass is greener on the other side. If this is the case he soon will come crawling back like some low life slug. If he does this tell him F-NO.


Hes the one who left you, you are not to blame.
If he said it, he definitley means it. There could be lots of reasons as to why this has happened, most likely he has met someone that reminded him of what its like to be single and have all his opportunities open to him. If thats the type of ';MAN'; he is then your better off with out him cause hes not a man at all to do that.
I'm sorry. This must be very difficult, especially since you had no idea. I hope you have very supportive family and friends and if not....get some help and support wherever you can.





It is possible he has been feeling like this for a long time and is not happy, no longer feels the same about you etc etc...none of which is your fault and may not even have anything to do with you...just him.





My guess is....there is someone else...ask him.
Someone doesn't fall out of love ';overnight';. He probably has been feeling this way for awhile now. He probably has found someone else that is why he can't look you in your eyes. Good Luck %26amp; Best Wishes.
Perhaps he never did love you. Perhaps he has another and has decided to be with her. have him transfer his mail OUT. File for divorce, get your child support and whatever else your entitled to and just take care of your children and move on. Sounds easy to say I know, but the reality is he left you and you deserve better.
I'm thinking that it really wasn't overnight. This has been perking for a long time and finally something brought it to the surface.





Not sure what love has to do with marriage after 11 or so years. Sounds like early midlife crisis to me.
i fell out of love with my husband whom i had been with since i was 13 ...it just took me 24 yrs to tell him so...i had told him over and over and he didnt listen to my call for help and when i told him the love was really gone and he thought it was over night too ...sorry and it wasnt because of another person it was because of us
wow..... well i've not gone through this, but i thought i'd say, this sounds like he's been having an affair and has fallen in love with someone else..... that would explain the sudden ';overnight falling out of love';. if that's the case, then you are sooooo much better off without a two timing bastard like that.......spend some time with girlfriends, they always make you feel better!!!
He has somebody else.
I believe that there were signs and you may have missed them. This is a common problem. I am not blaming you but you are probably very involved with your children and he may have been neglected. I would also check it out and see if he has a girlfriend.





This did happen to me 7 years ago. I thought that there were no signs, but I finally realized that I did miss the signs.





You #1 priority right now is to take care of yourself and your children. I believe that you need to get a court order to make sure that the bills get paid and that you get some financial support from while you two are trying to figure this out.





Good luck and keep your eyes wide open!!!
Sounds like he has done something wrong and is feeling guilty. He wont look you in the eye cause he is ashamed and knows he is doing wrong. All you can do is pick yourself up and be strong for you and the kids.


Know that you haven't done anything wrong. It is going to be hard but, you will make it.
I went through your questions and all you do is whine about everything NO WONDER HE LEFT YOU!
Sorry about your situation... I havent had this happen to me. I've been married, but we split on separate reasons. My opinion is that no one falls out of love ';overnite';. There's an explaination for why he left the way he did, and from the way you explain it, it seems as if he's done something wrong and he cant tell you as of yet. You may never know. He may have been struggling with something through your marriage and you either did not see it or he did not show it or both. Your job now is to be there for your kids in this terrible time. Be there for them in every way possible. Talk to them and let them know YOU wont abandon them too. Pray. God Bless you and good luck. Perhaps something will turn around for you
Well let me start by saying this is possible, but there are underlying factors. For one this didn't happen overnite.He may have met someone and that is making it easier to leave you. The grass may be greener, he thinks??? However he should have talked to you alot sooner. Theese feelings don't happen overnite.


And at worst he should have sought counselling for this, just not quit. He was thinking only about himself and not you or his children. So noooow go get him in court and take him for everything he's got. And then see how much he will be in love with you.I bet he will change his tune.
I am currently in the same situation as you. My husband told me the same thing about 3 months ago and has now left me and my two small children. The difference for me I guess is that I found him in my home with another women. I guess my only advice to you is to focus on you and your children. I am trying to do that myself and I won't lie to you it is hard. This is a very hard thing to go through and I know exactly how you feel and it is not a good feeling. I am in couseling and so is my husband. I would like to try and get past this, but he is not sure he wants to. He has so much guilt for what he has done to me. I would do a little checking around to see if there is someone else. But remember to try and put yourself and your children first. Good Luck to you. I know this is hard.
Nope sorry sweety he's cheating on you and he's finally made the choice , he is going to act all cool and chilled make it look like he wasnt cheating and then this woman will just magically appear after the divorce is final and you've split on his terms which means he got off easy cause you didnt suspect a thing.





Sorry for your loss.Go see a lawyer NOW!!!!!
I am currently going through the same thing. However, it is because my husband is being occupied by another woman. I understand how this could cause you so much pain. I'm not saying this may be the cause to your problem but I can tell you from experience... Let it go, stop looking for an answer because sometimes there isnt one. Keep your head up and good luck to you.
It was possibly something he was feeling all along. Typically it's not that sudden and more so of a gradual progression. There are possibly other issues and factors that are leading him out the door, but that's his load of manure.





Good luck and be strong for the kiddies. As much as it hurts, please don't talk badly about him to or in front of the kids (not saying you will but when we are hurt we can do things we typically would not) because it will create all sorts of additional drama with the kids being the ultimate losers.
my heart bleeds for you ....im sorry to hear about this terrible phase u have to go through . People who can fall in/out of love overnight , are just as likely to turn around a fortnight later and say i made a mistake i was going through a phase ......i wish they would wake up to the intolerable cruelty they have inflicted on their spouse ....its just one step less than being evil. There might have been some signs but since he's not talking ....U need to ask him to better spell it out , give u a reason , and it better be good at that , as to his strange decision overnight . Also ask him if he can even justify for his sudden change of heart towards you , how the hell his feelings can change towards his own kids ? Seems to me he might be having an affair . Or is it that he is disillusioned with married life/life in general ? Force him to give you answers ....you deserve them in order to move on or to even hope that you can reason with him to atleast enlist for professional help ..ie marriage counselling for the sake of the kids. Give this your last BEST shot but If no sense prevails just kick the SOB meaning divorce him ...take him to the cleaners , make him pay good child support . May you surface this murky situation with your self-esteem intact . all the best.
Been there. I feel for you. I started checking phone records. I found a number I didn't know, so I called it. Guess what? It was a woman. So I asked her why she was calling the number, she said it was one of my husband's friends she was calling, so I asked her if she knew my husband and she hung up on me! I was livid. I tried to call her, but she wouldn't answer after that. I don't think anything physical happened, I think he was getting emotionally involved though (there were a LOT of calls between them). So I confronted him about it, he said he didn't know why she owuld hang up, and denied having a relationship with her and we started talking about what has changed in our marriage, and how to get back where we used to be. He decided to stay and work it out (a couple of days prior he told me he didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. Our kids were 4 and 6 then). That was a year ago. I have to say we have had a few rough days in that year, but for the most part we are happier now than we have ever been. I think we both just got to the point of taking advantage of the other person and stopped trying.


We started a date night, I make sure the kids are in bed early so we have our time together, we have family day, and my mom keeps the kids one night a month so we can do whatever we want together. Whether it's go out on the town, or just watch TV, it's just the two of us. It took a couple of months, but then we started to reconnect. We talk now, we stopped doing that. If we spoke to each other, it was always work or kid related, now we actually talk about our lives. It's hard to go through it, but for us, it was a wake up call. Until that day, I always though everything was OK too. I knew I wasn't especially happy, but I had no idea how bad it had gotten. Hopefully your husband is still open minded and so are you, and you will be able to make this a positive thing, instead of the beginning to the end. I'm praying for you.....
sounds like there have been problems of some time and you just haven't noticed...





usually people fall out of love because there is no respect or consideration or communication from the other party...





OR there is no reciprocation of love... so he's found it somewhere else...





was your sex life okay, before all this, or have you not had any in a while??? that is usually a good indication...
It is called 'another woman'.
This reminds me of a song by Pink





leave me alone i'm lonely





give it a listen.