Please help with advice, husband came home at 8AM drunk with more alcohol...?

We have been getting in arguments lately, and he won't talk to me for the last week. He came home late last Monday, and would not explain why and refused to talk to me and always walked out of the house and wouldn't answer my calls.


This prompted me to check the phone bill and I found calls made to a number every single night, sometimes 10 calls in one night sometimes 5 sometimes 2, but every nite he makes calls to the same phone number. I have asked him who it is, he said its to his guy friend, and so I asked him why he calls him so much and he never answers. Also, I was getting angry because he isn't paying bills... I keep asking him to give me money for the bills and he just hasn't and doesn't respond.


He also admitted on Saturday that he stayed out late to 5AM on Thursday night because him and his friend stayed at his job to drink... he works at a restaurant.





So then last night he never came home... he came home at 8AM this morning with alcohol in his hands. He reeked of alcohol and looked as maybe he could have been on drugs.





I don't think he is cheating, I have called the number and its a guy. But the only conclusion I can come to is drugs, I mean... why else would you call someone 10 times every nite?





So I told him he cannot drink alcohol in the house at 8AM and I took the bag and went outside to throw it in the garbage... he got mad and locked me out of the house. I was stuck outside and finally he came and unlocked the door, he screamed at me that he will drink the wine in the house then.





I don't know what to do... one other thning that concerns me is that he drives a motorcycle home and he is driving this motorcycle drunk! I am leaving to my parents house tomorrow, I already took a 10 day vacation from work that he was supposed to join me but now he doesn't want to go.





Should I email his boss and let him know that my husband is drinking the alcohol at the restaurant all night? if thats even where he is... or what about his drunk driving? what do I do about his drunkeness at 8AM???





I don't know what to do..





that is what I am afraid of, he will end up in the hospital.


Just to add - back in march we went through a similar situation, he never came home and was out all night and I got a call at 8AM from the hospital... he was partying with friends all night and got into an accident... he said he was hit by a car, but his friends think he fell over a ledge onto concrete... he had over 12 fractures at the time and a head injury... this was only in March and I thought he would learn his lesson... but seems he is doing it again and I fear a hospital again!





we have no kids. thank god! just a dog that I am bringing with me to my parents!Please help with advice, husband came home at 8AM drunk with more alcohol...?
have a friend... call the number.... ask for Mary.....





find out who lives at that number......





he is out late... most likely... because he is cheating on you.Please help with advice, husband came home at 8AM drunk with more alcohol...?
Why would you email his boss about his drinking at the restaurant or his drunk driving?





What do you expect his boss to do about your husband's personal life?
Buy him another round, girl!





How many times you going to ask this question?
Honey, why are you even with this bozo? He is an irresponsible alcoholic who is in complete denial about that. Frankly, I would call his boss and ask about the all-nighter parties your husband is telling you about, and about all the people getting blitzed in the restaurant before driving home seriously intoxicated. If indeed that is true that he is drinking at work, then the owner and manager become liable for anything that might happen to people getting loaded on the premises. Know ahead of time that there is a chance he will lose his job because of his behavior.... but that is what has to happen. Alcoholics / addicts learn when real life hits them be tween the eyes from their consequences. Be prepared for him to get injured again and to go to the hospital again.





In the meantime, get YOURSELF to Al-Anon. Those meetings are for the loved ones of alcoholics. It helps you get focused on what you need to do for yourself, to get you through all this and keep yourself safe. You will learn to stop focusing on him and what you think he needs to do, and get you to start taking care of yourself better. It will help, trust me. Best wishes.
Since it sounds like you really just want to help your husband I would spend this time with your family researching how to go about a proper intervention. This could involve cooperation on behalf of his employer, law enforcement %26amp; in particular family %26amp; friends that while may care about him continue to enable his destructive behavior. But unless an intervention is done properly the chances of success are even slimmer.


I suggest going on your trip without contacting his employer yet. Go, get some fresh air %26amp; a change of scenery - that will be good for you. You have to take care of yourself. Perhaps while you are there you can do some research on interventions. I know there is a website in reference to the show that is titled ';Intervention'; on A%26amp;E %26amp; I believe there is information %26amp; resources available as well.


Good luck to you. Addictions are painful for everyone involved. Try to sticks to your guns with your husband - always keep your word %26amp; your ';side of the street clean';. Ala-non support groups can help immensly. Remember to take care of yourself. Best wishes.
Obviously, you don't have any power to stop this.


Who then has the power to stop this?





(think, think............the cops.)





Time to set the boundary. No more drinking! Now. Today. Tell him if he will be home at XX O'clock. No ifs, ands or buts.


If he should choose to not abide by your request - he can go somewhere else to sleep, but it will not be under THIS roof.


Under this roof will be peace, harmony and established morals and protocol. You talk with him and let him establish the boundary. If he's not there within a 10 minute grace period - He's OUT for the night.


Call the police now and talk with them and tell them what's been going on and this is what you'd like to do. Let them know when he should be coming home and they could post a car within the neighborhood. He comes home drunk and they catch him - he's cooked his own goose.


The hammer will come down. He pretty much set the boundary and failed to abide by his own boundary. Now it's your turn to take the power back.


It's all in 911. Don't be afraid to use it.


If he goes to jail - then he's doing something wrong anyway!


He will blame you for it all. So what. It's just more of the same old lies.
Your answer is simple. Tell him to grow up. Tell him that unless he stops what he is doing the relationship is over. Your best off anyway getting away from this idiot. Alcohol and drugs will put him into an early grave. The fact that he comes home like this proves he has no respect for you or the house. Get him out! Bags on the lawn. Goodluck
If I were you I wouldn't get his boss involved. This could lead to him getting the sack and that would probably make things alot worse for him, and for your relationship. If your husband isn't willing to talk about what's going on it might be an idea to talk to this male friend who he keeps calling and try and get to the bottom of it. You don't want to sound like a nagging wife but before you can decide what you want to do about the situation and how to help if he has an alcohol/drug problem and how to prevent him from doing damage to himself (and others if he's driving drunk) you need to get some perspective on what exactly is going on and how big the problem is.