Saturday, July 31, 2010

Abusive Husband...Any advice?

I am 28 years old and have been married to my husband for almost four years (our anniversary is next month). Our relationship has been rocky to say the least for about two years now, but recently it has gotten much worse.





We fight constantly and he calls me some pretty awful names. The other night, we were having one of these arguments (it was because I didn't tell him exactly what he wanted me to tell him the way he wanted me to tell him) and he hit me. Not in the face, but in the ankle and then in the leg four or five times. After this he got up and left for a little while. When he came back, he said he was sorry and that he knew he was wrong and that he needed my helped to keep him from losing his temper like that. I told him he needed professionaly help, but he refuses.





I guess what I am asking is, what should I do? Should I stay or should I take my little boy and leave?Abusive Husband...Any advice?
I think you should ask this question to a local women's shelter or religious leader - not online. It's easy to say ';hell just leave he's a jerk';. But it's harder to do it. There are many legal considerations too, you just can't disappear with his child - abuse or not. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is a right and a wrong way to do this - make sure you do it the right way.





I think you should take the proper steps and leave him. It's not even about you, it's about protecting your child from what could potentially happen. No abuse like this should be tolerated. By hitting you he has become a clear and present danger to the welfare of you and your son.





While I am curious about why it's been so rocky recently, it is irrelevant to the issue at hand. I am sorry it did not work out for you, marriage can be very pleasant. There is no guilt or fault in leaving him. It's not your fault, remember it's about protecting your son.Abusive Husband...Any advice?
I would take your little boy and leave, you have to think of your child and what is best for him... Your son seeing that is not healthy, definitly leave. It is the best thing to do for you and your son!!
Please don't stay. It will wreck you and your child's whole life. Your little boy will suffer the most if you stay and im sure, as a mother, you don't want that. Pack up and leave, tell close friends and family too. If you can move as far away as possible and start fresh and be there for that kid of yours. Best of luck!
I say this to you.....





Something Specially


For You





I said a prayer for you today


And know God must have heard-


I felt the answer in my heart


Although He spoke no word!


I didn't ask for wealth or fame


(I knew you wouldn't mind)-


I asked Him to send you treasures


Of a far more lasting kind!


I asked that He'd be near you


At the start of each new day


To grant you health and blessings


And my friendship to share your way


I asked for happiness for you


In all things great and small-


But it was for His loving care


I prayed the most of all.





By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
no man should ever hit his wife i think that he needs help.. get your lil boy and get out. it could/will get worse. Its not fair for your lil boy to grow up to that. he will do the same to his wife cuz he thinks its alright! Dude get out NOW! Smack his *** into shape he will beg to come back!
It only gets worse with time. There is no excuse for hitting a woman just as there is no excuse for hitting anybody in that manner whether it be a woman or a man. For the safety of you and your child get out of there. I understand you probably love him, but if he loved you as much as you probably love him why would he hit you. Please get out. If you need help please contact me.
It breaks my heart that you even need to ask this question. Especially with an impressionable child involved. You do not want your son to grow up in violence. And no matter what your husband tells you, it is NOT your responsibility to help him control his temper. Nor is it EVER justifiable for any man to mistreat you in word or deed. He already broke your wedding vows, so you don't have a marriage to save anymore... If he hit you once, it'll only get worse from there. Get out.
Take your baby and leave. Would you want your baby boy to hurt anyone like that? You say he would never hurt your son maybe not physically but the emotional damage of hearing and seeing his mommy being abused will be more damaging. He also can be affected by the stress of how your husband is making you feel even though I'm sure you would protect him to no end then save him before your husband turns him into an abuser.
Are you kidding girl it will only get worse, first a push,then a push into the wall, then a slap, then a kick, then the trips to the hospital lying to the nurse and doctor who by the way know your lying, then isolation from your friends and family, the embarrassment of the bruises, and finally if you do not leave your boy, if he lets him live, will be in a little black suit at your wake. It happens every day and you may say ';oh it won't get that bad'; But he has already told you that you need to help him not lose his temper, in other words: do as I say and I might not hit you!





You see it took me 11yrs to realizes it had nothing to do with me and when I did I ran and have never looked back. Oh yeah its been 16yrs now and he has said he is sorry a million times but I am with a man now who would never even think of hitting a women and would hurt any man that would hurt our daughters(his%26amp;mine) and my girls now will not take any kind of abuse because what they saw me go through.





I wish you and your son the best, if you stay your boy will learn to hit women also.
leave him it dont matter if he dont hit your son trust me it will get worse and worse and worse till hes beating you get away now
Take your child and leave, please get out when he is at work pack up and leave. Report this incident to the police, get a restraining order and get out! It will only get worse don't convince yourself that he'll never do it again because you know it's a lie, he will and it will only get worse. Get OUT!
you already know what we are going to say...leave his a_ss , no man should hit you! not even on the ankle or leg....don't you feel you deserve better than that? no woman should put up with some a_ss hole like that! i would be in prison..i swear!
i've been in that same kind of perdicament and you should really get out before you can't. one of the reasons why you probably haven't left him yet is because you feel like you cant get any better. the more he talks down to you the more your going to feel worthless and youll never leave. hes going to continuously hit on you. why because he knows your not going to leave. you need to walk out the door. you dont need to be treated that way.
This is just the beginning. You need to get marriage counseling or anger mangament classes or just get the divorce and go your own way. Because he is not just going to stop on his own. He needs help.
Please, if you can gather up the strength leave him because if he feels like he can get away with it once he will, I promise you, do it again. You can have a great relationship with someone who will treat you well, please it may be hard right now for you to move on but you will begin to feel stronger once you've left and besides you don't want your son growing up in a household thinking this is the way a man should treat his wife.
In The Leg, Next Will Be Your Face. If you have kids you gotta think of them. So many women say they stay for the kids but believe me. YOU GOTTA LEAVE FOR YOUR CHILD. If he is refusing help the only thing you can do is leave. You can't force help someone if they don't want it. Know your self worth.
take your little boy and leave. he could be a threat to your child. it is very important that you leave and try to get him some help or something.
You need to contact local support for Abused Women and Legal Aid. He may have just hit you this time but you have been living in an abusive relationship, emotional and verbal, for years now. This can cause as much damage and scares as physical abuse but they are not seen. Your son hears and sees what is happening to you. It impacts him just as much as it impacts you. Neither of you need to be living with this. An abuser will say they are sorry and admit they were wrong but if they do not seek help, there is nothing you can do except remove yourself from the situation.





Please seek help and some counseling for yourself to work through what you have gone through and support for the road ahead. People don't see the emotional and verbal abuse scares.


I know because through counseling, I finally learned what it was I was living with for 15 years. It was a hard road and my ex never could understand any of it once he finally agreed to counseling, which was really just to shut me up and make everything go away.


I am better off now and my children do see a better side of people.


Bless you and your son. Please be strong and lean on those that can support you. You are not alone.
keep your husband and demand that he gets some group counseling to deal with his man problems because it doesn;t sound like it has anything to do with you. Good Luck
Okay, don't walk, RUN. He sounds like he is going to escalate in his abuse. He WILL hit you again. Wanna know how I know? He blames you, not himself for his awful behavior. By the way, is the little boy his biological child? because if he is not he will turn and beat him also. Don't waste your time trying to save this marriage. Get out now for if not for you, do it for your son's safety and psychological well being. Good Luck and be Brave!
fight fire with fire .. learn kick boxing and perhaps some elementary kung fu .. always carry some sorta defensive object around .. like a small frying pan or something lol .. now to seriously answer ur question , i think u should just do whats best for ur little boy
Take your boy and leave because it could be dangerous for both you and your boy. If this continues to get worse, he could really hurt you guys! so i think u should leave for your own safety.
dump him


there is NO excuse for hitting a woman.


PERIOD.
You have a child too?OMG,,put him out!! It wont get any better!! He straight out told you that he wont do what it takes to make it better which is counciling.Do you want him to ';accidently'; kill you?Leave your child with no parent?Do you want your child in this kind of atmoshere?Are you going to wait til it effects your son?It already has.Now ,,do the right thing %26amp; put him out or take you %26amp; your baby out of there when he is gone.There IS a better life waiting for you.I feel your pain.
Your husband has tendancies towards this type of behavior, or this wouldnt have happened....ok? What do you think you should do? Follow your instincts on this!
Trust your own instincts. Don't stay if you feel that either you or your child is in danger. Your husband may be afraid or embarassed to seek help, but professional help can be kept confidential. Regardless, he does not have the right to physically or mentally abuse you.
Stay and try not to argue.





If it keeps getting way out of hand, you may have to leave.





I recommend not divorcing ';as soon as possible';, because who knows, it could be a mistake. Give it some more time.





Whenever he gets really angry and wants to fight, just tell him you don't want to argue.
Sounds like he has anger issues. Tell him he goes for the help or you go with your son. Its that simple, because this won't stop if he doesn't seek help. Explain to him that you will support him in his effort and even go with him to anger managment class. If he doesn't want to try, go, don't look back.
well, let's get down and dirty with it... I know you love him or you used to. Most abusive relationships start with the verbal abuse. You need to be careful and follow your heart. If he knew enough not to hit you in the face where it would show, then he was wrong. No matter what he says, it could happen again. You need to think of your life and your son's. What happens when your son makes him mad? Is he going to hit him too? And who knows if it gets worse, can you imagine your son growing up without you? If he is not willing to seek help, then I say lay down the line and leave. You can always try to work out, but don't stay there until an agreement is reached. My mama used to always say that the first time a woman gets hit it's the man's fault, the second time is the woman's for not leaving. There are many places out there that can help you, make sure you take them up on it! Good luck and I hope this has helped.
Leave...I see more domestic abuse repeats daily in my line of work than anything. Without help it will continue and get worse until someone is seriously injured. Don't be stupid about this...
Are you seriouse? Take your kid and got the hell outta there as fast as you can!!
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