I gave him a choice either go to counseling or I am leaving with the kids. I feel as though I don't have a choice. I begged him to change, but he says he will and nothing changes. I know I love him, but sometimes it isnt enough.
I want to just up and leave with the 2 kids?
I want the car?
And a little money to get to where I am going (I am not going to empty the account).
Am I wrong for doing tis. I just don't think things are going to work if I stay to sweep up his pieces, or throw a rug over them.
Dammit I am tired of everything bieng my fault.I am going to leave my husband? And advice?
Hey man, as you can see you're not alone. You only have one life, and do you want to live it miserable? You can do it, and it may seem impossible at times but you need to gather all your family and friends you can to help you. Even if it were just a separation for a few months to get your message across that your fed up with the verbal and mental abuse. Yes its abuse! I think your first step is separating and let some time go by until he is willing to actually listen to you and not just hear you. good luckI am going to leave my husband? And advice?
First of all, let me just say tha Abandon Mothers Heart's answer is just horrible, cruel and totally uncalled for, and doesn't help the situation any! Now to your question. I don't think you are wrong for wanting to leave an abusive relationship. Verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. In some cases it is worse, because some people never recover from the wounds that words can inflict. I have a friend who is verbally abused by her husband, and yet continues to stay with him (heaven only knows why) and she is totally without self esteem and self confidence, and seems to cower . It is as if she has to ask before she does anything, incase I am going to say something nasty. She is also convinced that any time he abuses her, it is her fault, because she didn't do something right. Men like this wear down your self esteem to the point where you think you deserve nothing better in life. You have asked him to change his behavior, and if he hasn't yet done so, and I wouldn't bet that he ever is going to. You are so right in saying that it will not work to simply clean up his mess, it is he that has to do that, and it doesn't seem as if he wants to. Take the car, and enough money to get where you are going, pack up your belongings and your precious children and leave. It is for your own sanity and happiness, and that of your children. Leave when he is not there, and leave a note, so that another mind game doesn't start. And, remember that this is NOT your fault. Good luck.
he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. Give him one last time to go to counseling. If he doesn't go then leave and maybe that will wake him up. If he tries to get you back while you are not there, y'all agree to counseling together but do not move back in until you see progress after some months. If that doesn't work, then it may be over if you can not tolerate this. Some people need a wake up call before taking action. I think he may feel you are making empty threats if every time y'all get into it, you say you are leaving but don't. I wouldn't take you serious either if that is what you are doing.
no, he is the one that will not change his habbits, just because he does not physically hurt you , it does not mean this isn't a form of an abusive situation that you are in. be sure this is what you truly want to do , there was a time when my husband and i were going through this ,and needless to say he shacked up with another girl , but i had to deal with questions like where is daddy, when is he coming home, why are you crying , things like that , not only you , but your childern will be brought into this situation.
noone should treat someone like this , and i wish you the best of luck
I think that you are doing the right thing, if you are being totally truthful in your question. Just get out now before it gets worse for you, and he does something stupid that involves a police report.
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