Lay down the law. This is YOUR house. Post a list of house rules on the fridge and point them out to her when she visits. Broken rule = consequences...like a time out. If no one is going to control this child when in YOUR house, you're going to have to do it. It's blatant disrespect, by the niece and the in-laws. When she acts up tell her ';We don't do that here.'; She's 8 and she is more than old enough to know how to behave. Let her know that it is not OK to be a jerk in your home. Stick to your guns, always follow through and stay tough. She'll get it.
P.S. - the family isn't doing that child any favors by letting her get away with murder. She'll never know how to behave in social situations if she's not required to learn etiquette and manners.** This is long but I need advice *** How can I learn to cope with my husband's 8 year old niece?
kill her
Ah the classic spoiled brat, can't live with them, can't beat them. I have a...I guess you'd call him a nephew. He's my sister in law's stepson and he's a grade A little ****. All you can do is tell your husband that he needs to stop acting like she's some little angel and whenever she's over at your house tell her to get off of things. It's your house, your rules. Put your foot down and hard. Good luck.
my brother is the same way about his daughter.he thinks she can do no wrong.but anywho... you need to put some bass in your vioce and stand up to EVERYONE including your husband.regardless of her formal situation she is still a child and she needs to respect her elders.and other peoples' property.or better yet leave all that stuff right where it is and you leave i would rather be by myself than put up with an unruly child and grown ups that let her be that way.
This post is too long. Make it short and sweet and to the point next time
you are fighting a loosing battle i'm afraid, but you are not in the wrong, she is bahaving like one spoilt little madam, and why should she behave any different when she has all these adults dancing to her tune. The way she behaves is appauling, parents problems or not, she is 8 years old and one day is going to come a cropper when she behaves like this outside her family environment, and i bet she isnt like this at school or she would be hated, so she knows when to turn it off and on. i feel you have no choice but to distance yourself from her, this is going to be difficult but with so many of your family aiding this behaviour what choice do you have, i hope you can work this out
No you aren't picking on her. But you aren't going to win this battle either.
She's gonna be real trouble in about 4-5 years, and then when she's in and out of juevenile detention centres, doing drugs and getting knocked up you can say 'I told you so'.
Sure its tragic, but that's what happens when parents fail to parent. Nothing you can do about it I'm afraid. except maybe show her parents some episodes of Maury Povich and hope it scares them into seeking help before its too late
Good Lord!!! It seems like this brat is running everyone and barking orders.... it's really so simple that most folks over look the answer. She is acting like this because it is her only way to get the attention she needs. A child wants attention.. ANY attention, even if they have to do something wrong to get it. I suggest that the family come together and get on the same page NOW... the in-laws are not doing this child any favors by allowing this behavior. What needs to happen is that this child needs structure, rules and boundaries. Everyone needs to know and understand the limits as well as the consequences if she breaks a rule. Everyone should follow through each and every time a rule is broken. This child should not be allowed to act like an animal and she should learn to respect her elders as well as the property of others.If this family doesn't step up and do it soon, the next question you'll be asking is what kind of cake is best to take to a prison visitation. Why? because this child is on a path that can lead to trouble.. children like this tend to grow up thinking that they own everything and they tend to throw temper tantrums.. can you see her being a adult and having destruction of property on her record? I can. I wish you the best of luck with this mess that your in-laws created.. if they are unwilling to get this under control.. my advice to you is to rent a motel room the next time this child visits.. put them up in the room and limit time at your home to only a few short hours.
you are not picking on her. If I were you, I would tell my husband this ultimatum. I would tell him that it is either you or that spoil brat! Because you do not need to be in this relationship with the two of you-one is enough to handle. As for the in laws, I would say to them that you are sorry for them not having a backbone and that there is no need to be in a back boneless family. That if they want a needy, attention getting, spoiled rotten, anger management needing, ADHD having child, then you do not need to be there. Your husband can fawn all over her and your in laws can be walked all over by her and be the laughing F-ing stock by people who would think they are nothing put pathetic for letting this demon seed have her way. Please, I beg of you, get out of that family. If your husband realize that she is like this and acts like that and so does the rest of the family, there is no need to be there. This is when it is better to be alone.
You're not in the wrong here. It seems like you're the only adult who can see through her trying to take advantage and get her way. Your husband should listen to you. The next time she acts out at your house spank her and let her know misbehaving will not be tolerated. She's too old to be acting like that.
get off the stewpid internet and seek professional advice, dummy!
DANG you were right that was long, I would print this and show it to your husband, he needs to know how much this bothers you. If he won't do anything about tell him you will everytime you see her doing someting she is not supposed to do at your house tell her, and keep telling her until it gets through if you be mean right back then maybe someone will get the clue.
As I see it you have two options. Tell her family in private that they aren't doing her any favors by letting this child dictate their lives and see how they react, most likely not positively. The other make it miserable on all parties (the child and your husband included) when the child misbehaves maybe they won't bring her around so much, at the very least the child will not want to come over.
Try watching ';Hand that rocks the Cradle'; that woman was a Queen at manipulation.
Well there is one other option I guess, in all seriousness be frank with your husband and tell him that this child is tearing you apart, if he really loves you he may make a stand on your behalf. If he doesn't make it hard for him ie. no sex, don't clean house, stop making diner, whatever else he takes for granted until he sees your side basically GO ON STRIKE!
Whatever you decide to do, best of luck. I have had one of those children in my life and I know it makes life miserable.
god that was worse than therapy reading that.
divorce him and she wont be yer niece any more
It's not the childs fault, it's the adults not setting boundaries. You should talk to their pediatrician or a child psychologist. Convince them to get serious about this brat, or get ready to help care for a newborn when she's pregnant at 14.
Kids have to receive rewards for good behavior and punishments when they act out. She needs to learn right from wrong. Do you think any of them are gonna say NO when she wants to run with the wrong crowd?
If any of my kids acted like that they'd have ZERO toys, no friends over, no games, forget TV %26amp; DVD's, never get desserts again, kiss treats goodbye, and that computer is off limits, too...they'd get nothing.
She'll end up in juvenile hall before she gets out of middle school. Kids without guidance or structure always do.
Good god......just don't go around the brat. Done deal!
my cousin adopted a kid exactly like this. she is a brat and our other cousins who are younger are more well-behaved and obedient. so, what? she's a child, and thank god she's not yours.
i'm not sure why you feel she should have to ask to go in the fridge. do you make other guests at your home do this? i understand that she is very rowdy and out of order. the little girl in our family is too. i feel so bad for the grandparents, but they are so tired of dealing with her that they try to tune her out a lot. so, we're all dealing with her.
either way, the time you spend with her is limited and you are a grown woman. stop pestering your husband. you've already admitted that they ALL have trouble disciplining her, so stop expecting him to work magic.
pick your battles. her having her feet on the table won't kill you. stop letting this issue divide you and your husband. when you know she is coming over, close the bedroom doors that you don't want her in and put up any things you don't want broken. pretty much ignore her just wait for her and your inconsiderate in-laws to leave. there isn't much else you can do short of starting world war 3. i'm not sure what miraculous advice you think we can give.
if you discipline her, you will be the enemy of all the other adults and they will probably feel bad for her and cater to her more. from a psychological stand point, the most you can do is ignore her bad behavior. stop rewarding her by giving her ANY type of attention when she misbehaves. tell her calmly that you will interact with her when she behaves properly and stick to it. that means, don't correct her or give her ANY attention when she's acting out. she will probably act out more to see if that will work, but if you remain consistent, she will realize that doesn't work either and that she will only get adult attention if she behaves properly. this will work best if you talk to your husband and in-laws about this in advance and all get on board. if not, you can only control yourself.
get her in line. tell her that she is not the boss because she is younger. ya gotta nip this attitude in the butt now before it gets compeletly out of hand.
maybe tell her that when she is nine, she has to listen and behave in order to become a 10 yearold. and then when she is 10, she can go back.
i dunno. that really stinks.
that is soooo weird!! my mom is going through the same problem!! take this lil girl, 4 who she is. she'll grow up one day.
Nobody is going to read a question this long, go see a shrink.
go to the marriage section. nobody here wants to read a story.
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