Please answer - i need advice - husband is being extrememly rude?

I'm 25 weeks pregnant with our second son. my husband and i have been together for about 4 yrs. for the past few months my husband and i have been at each others throats at least once a week. the other days are fine, but when we argue its not fair to our 2 yr old son. i know i'm not innocent but its not just me and its not just my hormones!


he is driving me nuts with this, i love him and i don't want to be without him but i feel i can't keep doing this over and over again. the arguements are stupid and pointless. he NEVER does anything wrong, everything is always someone else's fault (usually mine). i don't know what to do.





my question is: Is anyone else going through this or has gone through this and once the baby was born everything was different





i know it doesn't help but he works nights and then stays up all day to take care of our son, so he gets all of 4 hrs sleep a day except for his days off. I understand this but it doesn't give him a excuse to treat me like like ****!Please answer - i need advice - husband is being extrememly rude?
Oh boy





Sounds as if you both need a come to jesus moment about money. If you are staying at home, and finances are tight because of your pregnancy perhaps you need to consider YOUR part in the strife and clean your side of the street.


Perhaps consider doing a budget TOGETHER. Check into Financial Peace University so much of marital discord is caused by money problems. Daycare expenses will not improve that. For him it is easier to care for the child then farm it out, as any money spent on care would need to come from some place in the budget.





He is working double time, taking care of the kid, and you do WHAT?


Seems to me when our kids were little parenting was a joint responsibility.


Attitude is 99% of any problem. the other 1% is the problem itself. Strife is caused when there is inequity and a sense of loss of control.


Perhaps you all might consider seeing a counselor for a few sessions to get on track with communicating without creating more strife.





Date night is important with kids in the house. If you don't set aside time for each other, the relationship will hit a lot of reefs before it sinks.Please answer - i need advice - husband is being extrememly rude?
well as a father of four, and a husband, and someone who has worked nights, i can say this,, with getting only a few hours of sleep a day, with one child, i would be dreading a second one, feedings, diapers, crying for no reason, colic, , wow that equals no sleep., , and where are you , why arn't you helping,, ,, so and so's wife at work does it all for him,, , why don't you, , then that turns to resentment, , which turns to rude pointless arguments, , talk to him figure out a way to be a stay at home mom,, or if your gonna work , then find a way to hire a babysitter, or day care, ,, work , no sleep , work no sleep, , that gets old real fast, , sending a child to day care does not make you bad parents, , but some times it does save marrages,
He needs sleep...Jeez, I used to do that night shift and then take care of the kids all day too and it was hell. I don't blame him for being in a bad mood. I understand the hormone thing too b/c I'm pregnant with my 3rd right now and almost everything my hubby does drives me crazy. I've been through it before and everything did go back to normal though. He really needs help during the day...that much stress and sleep is not good for his health. The arguing is bad for you and babies health too. Don't sweat the small stuff is the advice I have for you.
Yes, it's probably just your hormones. Calm down and remind yourself of that. Oh, and make it to where he gets more than 4 hours. Sleep depreviation can cause crankiness. My hubby works nights and even though it makes me get up an extra hour earlier, I still take our daughter to day care every morning and pick her up every night, so that he can get sleep. So that helps.
He needs time to sleep. If he works night and taking care of the child during the day come on this is too much.


Find a family member to step in so this guy can get some sleep. It's not healthy for anyone in the house to deal with no sleep, work and taking care of a young child.


It's not an excuse it's a reason he is tired. You get sleep so he needs sleep. Have someone step in and help or find a good person to pay to watch your son. My husband works nights and I would never ever ask him to stay up to take care of the kids when he is tired. IT's unsafe for everyone.
Admire your husband for not wanting to put your son in day care. Alot of bad things happen to innocent children in places like that. He's sacrificng his sleep to take care of your son. Compliment him instead of arguing with him when he become grouchy.
Tell him to knock it off. You are his wife.
Husband,


Works nights,


Watches 2 year old during day,


Gets only 4 HOURS SLEEP a day,


Probably dealing with a high sperm count.





YOU,


Pregnant ,


Hormonal,


not innocent,


YET he is bugging YOU?





It sounds like he may be treating you as well as he can.





Have you never heard the phrase '; pregnancy breeds infidelity';. If he is faithful he is doing well considering.
he's cranky bc he's sleep deprived....let him get some sleep for a few days and humor him when he says stupid things
Sorry you have to go through that, it makes it hard especially when you're carrying HIS child. Think about this, if you two both love each other unconditionally then stop with the petty arguments. Does it get you two anywhere? No, it makes you two fight and grow further a part. The best way to solved this is to sit down with him and let me know your heart and what is going from your end. Make sure he listens without interupting - tell him how you have felt you've been treated and why that hurts and then give him a chance to talk. There may be something more that is going on that neither of you know about so communication is key with any relationship. If you master that then there will be no need for these useless arugements.
Its You TRUST me your seeing it in a different light
Both of you are probably having a case of ';hormones';. Pregnant women are the most likely women to suffer domestic violence, it happens a lot in couples and for a reason. There is stress associated with a new birth. Uncertainty, and change are completely unsettling.





Maybe an Au-pair, Nanny, or something like that might help if you can afford it. If not, set a rule not to get into it in front of the baby. Remind each other that you LOVE each other and understand that things are stressful but acknowledge that sacrifices must be made to achieve your goals.
Your man is tired you are going to have to be nice to him, even if he is wrong. The kind of life he has is of a dog. If you want him around be the girlfriend you will come to.


You selected him as your husband, you have to do everything to keep him. Even though you think he is not fair. I think you have only one choice, make him happy and keep your son in a happy home.
I think your husband is just having a rough time. You need to talk to him and find out what's wrong with him. It could be many things. You have to understand that sometimes men feel a lot of pressure. Especially when they start a family. He might be feeling a little anxious, tense, and fustrated. You need to stop arguing and just talk. Communicate and listen. Be there for your man and offer your support.
Stress can be such an ugly little monster %26amp; it sounds like you %26amp; your husband have your fair share of it right now. I think that with your 2 yr. old son %26amp; the new baby on the way it's understandable that you two are going through a bit of rough patch. I wouldn't assume that this is the end for the relationship though. It sounds as if this period of disagreement has come on pretty fast, which makes it seem that once a lot of the stress is reduced in the situation the arguing will too. For the time being I think you should talk to your husband and ask him what he thinks is going on? The two of you are the best sources for an answer in your situation. Also, lack of sleep should not be ignored. It can take a toll on your personality, reasoning, motor skills %26amp; much more. It sounds like you both need to have a sit down %26amp; find out what's going on. If you and your husband are open to it I might also consider doing some counseling. Counseling can be so beneficial for some couples or individuals.
Pregnancy is tough on guys too. And, with that work schedule, he must be absolutely exhausted. You should try to be patient with him; give him what he wants throughout your pregnancy and see how it is afterward.
Yes it does give him the excuse if he is only getting 4 hours of sleep. Sorry. If you are not feeling well due to the pregnancy or working also, maybe you can get someone in the family to help you out temporarily . Once he is sleeping better the arguments should stop. Plus it is not a good idea for him to watch your son. What if he did fall asleep, who would be there for the child? Please seek help soon. Other then that it sounds like you have a great relationship , Good luck..
Focus on the solution not on the problem. Identify what the REAL PROBLEM is then you can figure out the BEST SOLUTION.
perhaps some counseling would help you to talk to each other in a more respectful manner, because you don't deserve to be treated badly, you are carrying his child after all, and you both need to be understanding of each other's situation. Try some counseling, it can't make anything worse.
i know this must suck for you and i'm sorry you have alot going on right now your husband sounds like he is just tired and frustrated . with no sleep and dealing with a 2 year old is hard. do you work? if not why don't you let him sleep longer and you watch your son. and his days off you let him take over. maybe let your mom or a friend watch your son and you guys take some time for yourself. remember you have another one on the way and things will be hectic for alittle while. enjoy each other now!! that could help!! goodluck!
Well I know when I was pregnant my husband and I fought all the time!! About pointless stuff. But I admit it was mostly my fault. We rarely fight anymore since my daughter was born. But you need to understand if he works nights and then has to see about the 2 year old during the day, he may feel like he doesn't have time for himself. Why not try putting the 2 year old in daycare or something?