Help! I am in a complicated situation and need unbiased advice. husband named ';James'; and friend ';Sam';

Sam has made it no secret he loves me and he is very doting to my daughter and me. He came across the country on a bus to see us for two weeks. While he was there he treated me like royality. He helped me with everything. But, Sam has lied to me about many things. When I called his mom to let her know he was on the bus. I told her that he came back for his car. She told me he did not have a car or a job. Not 1st time he lied to me.





James did not come out with my daughter and me. (He could EASILY get a job at the new location) He came out to visit on a plane for 37 hours. He refused to come when I worked because he did not want to be bored, even though could have played with our daughter while I was out. He has always put his D%26amp;D, friends, brother, cars, etc. before us. When he visited with us, he yelled at me the whole time. However, James is very stable. He's had the same job for 15 years (He is 33 years old) He has always supported me financially.





What should I do? ThanksHelp! I am in a complicated situation and need unbiased advice. husband named ';James'; and friend ';Sam';
Did you move or was it temporary? I don't get that...





So your choice is:


A liar who is doing his best to Woo you and who knows what you'll discover after the wooing period is over


or


Husband who puts you on bottom of his priority list, possibly immature and irresponsible and most likely selfish...





Is that what I am to understand? In a nutshell?





Go to counseling with your husband...you owe it to everyone to at least TRY...after that you're free to do what you choose.





What I've noticed is whenever I look for or allow to receive attention from other men it is because


I am unhappy in my marriage.


Soo...you are obligated to try and fix what you've got.





Don't take Sam. Sounds like a loser, why continue to talk to someone whose history of lying speaks for itself? Don't even WASTE YOUR TIME! You are not obligated to work on that one too!





Good luck!





PPHelp! I am in a complicated situation and need unbiased advice. husband named ';James'; and friend ';Sam';
Sam could be lying to you about a lot more things... things that are very important to you... you won't be able to trust/believe anything he says (or does). He's giving you the impression that he's a caring man, but if he really cares, he would stop lying to you. If you confronted him about the lies, would he stop, so the relationship could be better?


It seems like James is taking you for granted... way too much. Financially reliable, but not considerate of your needs otherwise. Would he stop doing it if you confronted him about it, so the relationship could be better?


The one who cares enough to make the relationship better is the one who would get my vote.
ummm let's see...stay with your devoted, stable husband or provide for a lying moocher??? Now that's a tough one
that one is a hard one to answer,, you have to follow your heart,,,\


SAM is a liar,, and that is sad,, cause if he lied to you about stupid stuff like that ,, what else had he lied to you about,,, ??





as for James,, he seems to treat you like crap,, yelling at you while you were there,, I hope not in front of your daughter,,,


his family should come first,,, not the other things,,,





follow your heart,, or see if you can find some one new,, to love you and treat you like a queen with out the yelling and lieing to you,,
forget Sam he is a dream, not real. Work things through with your husband
D%26amp;D??? that right there should tell you to dump loser james
Dump them both and start over
do you love either of these guys...only you know...but don't play games with them.....women like you really hurt us guys...and you wonder why we become players.





sorry probably not what you wanted to hear....but you are selfish and will never be satisifed .....like alot of females always looking for something better.





I suppose i sit here now feeling very lucky my partner loves me for me....not anything else.
neither one sounds like a prize ... one is emotionally immature, the other is deceitful .... neither will be a good family man





husband?? why do i have trouble accepting that definition? most husbands and wives live together ... although ';James'; is the father of your child, the relationship is not a family.
They both sound like a problem. Your best bet is to have them both stay back where they came from and find a guy in your area that's both stable AND caring.





No offence, but any guy that puts D%26amp;D before his lady is a f*cking loser, and I don't care how much money he makes.
I cant really tell you what to do but i do want to ask you do you love any of these guys? Sam might want to be with you because he's broke or because he doe's love you and just sucks at getting a job or even keeping one.Your husband sounds like an asshole,just because he takes care of you financially doesn't mean he loves you or he just sucks at it. I say you should follow your heart it's always right.

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