I am happily married, but I can't stop thinking about this other guy. I love my husband! Any advice?

Its just thoughts. No harm. Actions will harm you.I am happily married, but I can't stop thinking about this other guy. I love my husband! Any advice?
(1) Actually your description shows that you love much to the guy you said and the image of that guy is still remained in your subconscious mind.It is the clear reason why you remind him of often.


(2) To solve your problem , you can do 2 things.


(A) Often think bad qualities of that guy has.


(B) Often think good qualities of your husband has.I am happily married, but I can't stop thinking about this other guy. I love my husband! Any advice?
That's not uncommon. What you have to do it stop thinking about the other guy and replace those thoughts with you husband. When you start to think about this guy, just imagine that your husband is standing over you watching your thoughts. Start to think about how your husband used to turn you on or when you first met your husband.
maybe its just a crush youll get over it
I guess I dont understand the thoughts that you're having about this other person.


Perhaps there is something missing and you seek some kind of excitement in your life. If that's the case, please find that excitement within your marriage. If that's not the case, then perhaps you need to seriously talk to someone about whatever these thoughts concern that seem to be consuming you.
keep as far away from the other guy as possible. Being married doesn't mean you loose your attraction to other guys but do you love your husband enough to resist temptation ad never want to hurt him.
I AM A MAN WITH THE SAME PROBLEM LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU COME UP WITH
figure out what this other guy has that your husband doesn't and talk to your husband about it. To many people by having a crush you are cheating already and your marriage is already over. Cut all ties with this other guy don't talk to him, about him, email him nothing. And you may have a chance at saving your marriage. You may love your husband but are you in love with him, is he your best friend and life mate, is he your everything? If he were you wouldn't be having thoughts about this other guy. Figure out what has changed and talk to your husband about it not the other guy.
YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED THE OTHER GUY...
Stay with your husband. Forget about the other guy. Go seek counseling together and try to make your marriage work. It will never work with the other guy and you need to find out how to get your relationship back together with your husband. Good luck.
I think we all think about others from time to time. It is just human nature. I would imagine it will pass. Just don't do anything rash and act upon those thoughts unless you are absolutely sure.
if you don't do something about it right now it can lead you to do adultury when a chance comes up....so you better either tell your husband or forget about it.....that is if you really are happy with your marriage.


The Harm Pornography Causes


SEXUAL material of all kinds is easily accessible through television, movies, music videos, and the Internet. Is this relentless intrusion of pornographic, sexualized imagery harmless, as many would have us believe?*





Pornography's Effects on Adults


Despite what its defenders say, pornography has profoundly negative effects on people's views of sex and sexual behavior. Researchers at the National Foundation for Family Research and Education concluded that ';exposure to pornography puts viewers at increased risk for developing sexually deviant tendencies.'; According to the report, ';the rape myth (belief that women cause and enjoy rape, and that rapists are normal) is very widespread in habitual male users of pornography.';





Some researchers say that the repeated use of pornography can interfere with the ability to enjoy and participate in normal marital intimacy. Dr. Victor Cline, a specialist in treating sex addiction, has noticed a recurring progression in the use of pornography. If left unchecked, what starts as casual viewing of pornography can eventually lead to an escalation to more hard-core, aberrant material. This, he claims, can lead to deviant sexual acts. Behavioral scientists agree. Dr. Cline reports that ';any type of sexual deviation can be acquired in this way . . . and that it cannot be eliminated even by massive feelings of guilt.'; Eventually, the viewer may try to act out the pornography-based, immoral fantasies, often with devastating results.





The course of this problem may be gradual and undetected, concluded Cline. He states: ';Like a cancer, it keeps growing and spreading. It rarely ever reverses itself, and it is also very difficult to treat and heal. Denial on the part of the male addict and refusal to confront the problem are typical and predictable, and this almost always leads to marital or couple disharmony, sometimes divorce, and sometimes the breaking up of other intimate relationships.';





The Damage to Young People





Some researchers say that exposure to pornography can affect the natural development of a child's brain


Statistics show that the primary consumers of pornography are boys between the ages of 12 and 17. In fact, for many, pornography is their primary source of sexual education. This has very disturbing ramifications. ';Teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS,'; notes one report, ';are completely nonexistent in porn, giving a false belief that there are no adverse consequences to behaviors depicted in pornography.';





Some researchers say that exposure to pornography can also affect the natural development of a child's brain. Dr. Judith Reisman, president of the Institute for Media Education, concludes: ';Health-based neurological observations about the instinctual brain-imprinted response to pornographic sights and sounds indicates that viewing pornography is a biologically significant event that overrides informed consent鈥攁nd that is harmful to children's [moldable] 'plastic' brains because it compromises their grasp of reality and thus their mental and physical health, their well-being and their pursuit of happiness.';





The Effects on Relationships


Pornography shapes attitudes and influences behavior. Its messages are enticing primarily because they are fantasy and thus presented as more exciting than the real thing. (See the box ';Which Message Will You Accept?';) ';Individuals using pornography set themselves up for unrealistic expectations leading to damaged relationships,'; notes one report.





Pornography can destroy trust and openness, essential qualities in a marriage. Because it is primarily viewed in secret, pornography use often leads to deception and lying. Mates feel betrayed. They do not understand why their marriage partner no longer finds them desirable.





Spiritual Harm


Pornography use causes serious spiritual damage. It can become a real impediment for an individual seeking to have a relationship with God.# The Bible links sexual appetite with covetousness and idolatry. (Colossians 3:5) The one coveting something desires it so much that it becomes the dominant thing in his life, eclipsing everything else. In essence, those addicted to pornography put their sexual desire above God. They thus make an idol of it. Jehovah God's command states: ';You must not have any other gods against my face.';鈥擡xodus 20:3.








Pornography can destroy trust and openness in a marriage


Pornography destroys loving relationships. The apostle Peter, himself a married man, urged Christian husbands to assign honor to their wives. A husband who fails to do so will find that his prayers to God are hindered. (1 Peter 3:7) Would secretly viewing indecent images of women be treating one's own wife honorably? How would she feel if she found out? And what would the God who will bring ';every sort of work into the judgment'; and who makes ';an estimate of spirits'; think? (Ecclesiastes 12:14; Proverbs 16:2) Could one who uses pornography have any reason to expect that his prayers would be listened to by God?





The insistence on selfish gratification at all costs is inherent in pornography use. Hence, viewing pornography is unloving. It undercuts a Christian's fight to maintain chastity and a clean moral standing before God. ';This is what God wills,'; wrote the apostle Paul, ';that you abstain from fornication; that each one of you should know how to get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in covetous sexual appetite . . . , that no one go to the point of harming and encroach upon the rights of his brother.';鈥? Thessalonians 4:3-7.





Pornography especially exploits women and children. It demeans them and robs them of their dignity and rights. One who uses pornography participates in and supports that exploitation. ';No matter how good a . . . man thinks he is,'; point out researchers Steven Hill and Nina Silver, ';his tacit approval of pornography makes him at best [insensitive], at worst misogynistic, toward the very person he professes to care about.';





Getting Help


The struggle to break free from pornography should not be underestimated; it may be a difficult battle. Says Dr. Victor Cline, who has treated hundreds of sex addicts: ';Promises don't work. Good intentions mean nothing. [A sex addict] literally cannot do this by himself.'; A prerequisite to successful treatment, according to Cline, is involving the mate, if the person is married. ';It goes faster if both are involved,'; he claims. ';Both are wounded. Both need help.';





If the person is single, often a trusted friend or family member can be a pillar of strength. Regardless of who is involved in the treatment, Cline has one unalterable rule: Talk openly about the problem and any relapses. ';Secrets 'kill you','; he says. ';They create shame and guilt.';





Breaking Free of the Pornography Habit


What if you are presently struggling with an addiction to pornography? Can anything be done to break free? The Bible provides hope! Before coming to know Christ, some of the early Christians had been fornicators, adulterers, and greedy persons. ';But you have been washed clean,'; noted Paul. How was that possible? He answered: ';You have been sanctified . . . with the spirit of our God.';鈥? Corinthians 6:9-11.





Never underestimate the power of God's holy spirit. ';God is faithful,'; the Bible says, ';and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.'; Indeed, he will provide the way out. (1 Corinthians 10:13) Fervent prayer鈥攑ersistently setting your problem before God鈥攚ill produce results. His Word encourages: ';Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you.';鈥擯salm 55:22.








Fervent prayer will produce results


Of course, you have to act in harmony with your prayers. You need to make a deliberate and heartfelt decision to reject pornography. A trusted friend or family member can be an invaluable aid, providing needed support and encouragement to stick to your resolve. (See the box ';Getting Help.';) Remembering that such a course of action is sure to please God can help you stay committed to your course. (Proverbs 27:11) In addition, knowing that your viewing pornography offends God can also serve as an added impetus to giving it up. (Genesis 6:5, 6) It will not be an easy struggle, but it is one that can be won. The pornography habit can be broken!





The dangers of using pornography are real. It is harmful and destructive. It corrupts those who produce it and those who use it. It is an insult to men and women, a danger to children, and a practice that should be rejected.








* For a detailed discussion of the dangers of Internet pornography, please see the series of articles entitled ';Internet Pornography鈥擶hat Harm Can It Do?'; in the June 8, 2000, issue of Awake! pages 3-10.





# For a discussion of the Bible's view of pornography, please see the July 8, 2002, issue of Awake! pages 19-21.














Which Message Will You Accept?


Pornography's Message The Bible's View


Sex with anyone, anytime, under any circumstances, and in any way is good and has no negative consequences.


';Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.';鈥擧ebrews 13:4.





';He that practices fornication is sinning against his own body.';鈥? Corinthians 6:18; see also Romans 1:26, 27.





Marriage is an obstacle to sexual fulfillment.


';Rejoice with the wife of your youth . . . With her love may you be in an ecstasy constantly.';鈥擯roverbs 5:18, 19; see also Genesis 1:28; 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:3.





Women have only one purpose鈥攖o satisfy the sexual needs of men.


';I [Jehovah God] am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.';鈥擥enesis 2:18; see also Ephesians 5:28.





Men and women are slaves to their sexual urges.


';Deaden, therefore, your body members that are upon the earth as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.';鈥擟olossians 3:5.





';Each one of you should know how to get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor.';鈥? Thessalonians 4:4.





View the ';older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with all chasteness.';鈥? Timothy 5:1, 2; see also 1 Corinthians 9:27.





marriage....
Sounds like a crush to me. Dont worry - enjoy it for the silly diversion it is - dont act on it! It will pass soon enough - crushes are fleeting, true love outlasts all that.
you have heard these two sayings,';you are married not dead'; and ';look but don't touch';. well it';s your marriage, try to imagine you with out him.
my advice is too stop thinkin bout him this guy u like its ggood if u get really into ur husband go out with him a lot be very romantic then hes gonna be all better than that guy u think bout and ull love ur husband and he will be romantic trust as much as he is gonna be romantic ur gonna forget and most of all always be smiling in his face wen hes lookin at u
You should stick with your husband. You married him for a reason. ';This other guy'; thing will probably go away. I know that it's hard, but you have to do it for the sake of your marriage (especially since you are happily married). Good Luck... I know it will be hard.
you have 2 ways to do this first you can go out with this other man have sex and finish your obsession the risk in this is that you may like the way he does it and get stock wihth him.. second you decide to forget him and try not to see him ever if you have to see him make sure you are not alone with him.
Get over him!!! Your married now and you do not belong thinking about anybody else. You should try to stop before things get out of control. Good luck
Theres alot of variables that come into play here. How happy is your marriage,are you really happy, have you been unfaithful before. My advise would be if your truely happy and love your husband , no infidelities then try to forget about him and move on in your life.
Its perfectly normal to get a crush on someone new. But it will pass, and your marriage will always be there. Let it go.
If you love your husband totally forget this other guy. I know, I've been there. I had a relationship with another guy while I was married. I loved my husband the entire time, but this other guy was new and intriguing. We never actually had sex, we talked about it a lot, but in the long run, when it got really serious I had to get rid of the situation all together. I cut all ties and focussed all of my attention back on my husband where it belonged.
Well, I am in the same situation right now. Somebody help!!!!!
You are married. ';Till death do us part'; not ';till some cute-er guy comes along.'; You are just going to have to learn to get over it. If you really love your husband then you will stick with him--NO MATTER WHAT.
It happens when you need attention.. but try to involve in some activities so that you won't get time to think about the other guy.. and talk to your husband.. do some exercise and meditation.. think positive
first what u have to think is, u should see in ur husband view.. im sure u would not happy if u knew that IF he did the same thing what u do now.. so think it that way when u were thinking about that other guy... anyway from a thinking can or may take u to an action which is not a good thing... so try to think about that..





good luck!! :)
Yea, If you were happily married like you say and love your husband than you would not be thinking of someone eles. mabe you are missing something in your marrage. I know this because I love my husband with my whole heart and soul I don't have or want the time to think of any one eles but him. also remember the grass always look's greener on the other side. Good luck
If you go for it, you will fell guilty. If you are like me, you won't stop thinking about it, but I am a guy and a sex addict too I think.