How should I deal with my husband? Need advice from Muslim Brothers and Sisters.?

No, he is not Arab. He is Kurdish, and I am Canadian.How should I deal with my husband? Need advice from Muslim Brothers and Sisters.?
Surah an Noor(24: 4-5)





And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever, They indeed are the F芒siq没n (liars, rebellious, disobedient to All芒h). (4)





Except those who repent thereafter and do righteous deeds, (for such) verily, All芒h is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (5)


_________________________ _





My prayers for you dear sister, InshAllah all will fit back in.


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.How should I deal with my husband? Need advice from Muslim Brothers and Sisters.?
O dear. I am very sorry to know how frustrated and lost you are feeling right now.





In your point of view, you can't understand, why telling him the truth may be understood in such a wrong way, while it should be appreciated. You are right in telling the truth because you have nothing to hide. And keep being trustful with yourself even if the world would be against you....





Also in his point of view, men feel jealously silly from other men talking with their wives. His jealousy is normal, but he really and extremely exaggerated in showing it out.





Yet his behavior behavior is not accepted at all. Calling You Names, swearing and accusing you of cheating, just from talking..... Ahhhhh Talking with a stranger happens to any one, on daily basis, its normal to talk with a stranger as long as nothing wrong is going around.... You may ask for road direction.... a lot of normal questions..... What is not normal is for you to live with constant FEAR:


- fear from a stranger to ask a question....


- fear to look to a stranger in the eye.....


- fear to go out of my own house....


This is not a healthy life that you are living...... Your husband has issues concerning trust. It seems he doesn't trust himself, that's why he doesn't trust you. Does he know that he needs 4 witnesses before he can accuse his wife of betrayal? Does he know, islam asks from him to respect his wife?





Dear, you should consult a sheikh, or let your mother / father in law know about these matters, only if you know that they are fair, and won't simpathy with their son..... You have to do something about it. But don't leave the house. Never ask for divorce, its only the children who are going to pay the price of divorce.





I will pray for you that he will come back to his sences once more. And may Allah (swt) give you patience. Salam sister. Have more faith in yourself. This is my advice to you dear.
Well if this is on a weekly bases then just wait for a while if he doesn't come back or call then just forget him i know this is hard but the only way you can get over it.If he is very aggressive then I think you need to get a divorce i know in yhe religion of islam this is not good but the only way to protect yourself and your family. Try not to tell your 2 boys because i dont think they can take it. I have alot of pitty for you but if you have ant relatives go to themm they can helpyou get through it.Thats the best I can do.


Bye (kuhdahafis)
Technically sister you aren't allowed to speak to non-mahram men so what you did was wrong but the security guard was wrong too for beginning a conversation with a married woman, much less any woman. So your husband was right to be upset. That being said I think you should speak to an elder in your family and an elder in his family and reconcile or go to an Imam and ask him for help. If worse comes to worse you could always divorce him I suppose.
Listen i am a kurd and just really when you ask people take thier answers seriously. of course, of course in kurdistan their is no such thing as talking to male strangers that's totally unacceptable what u did here would be definitely wrong in kurdistan... that's how he has grown up to learn no matter how much you try marriage counseling what ever else he is not going to learn because he is close minded and things are just going to get worse and worse and my advice just divorce and you try to live your life with your children far away from him..... this is not really an advice but you should have you really really should have done some research about kurdish society and traditions before you married him.... bad choice bad man for you but if he had married a kurdish girl he would have not had problems but your marriage is never going to work belief me every kurd that had married other ethnicities have broken up even after having many children and many years together the reason is ';they just dont fit'; THAT SIMPLE.... you may feel scared but you have to find the power in yourself to divorce even if not for your life but for your children's be brave.....may god be with you
WOW%26gt; Religion aside honey that is uncalled for and you should not have to deal with that kind of over bearing behavior. Pack you and your children's bags and let that ';child'; come home to an empty house, then maybe he will understand that no matter what religion/belief you may have, that, that kind of behavior towards someone you ';love'; is not acceptable. No I'm not Muslim and I don't know all the rules, but I do know one thing, YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE BETTER.
In Islam it is completely unacceptable. The way your husband behaves.


I am very sorry about that. Your husband has no respect to you and he is not fulfilling Islamic teachings.





There should be limit of everything. Now one has to draw a line.





You have to take a firm stance in this situation. Will you like to live with this crazy person the rest of your life.
Just tell him if you don't believe me pray to Allah to curse us both. If you are right you will feel good and if I am wrong then Allah will curse me. Tell him also: Allah and Prophet says';Not to blame anyone without proves';





A little bit more suggestion: Please if your husband don't believe you the same way do not tell him about anything like this anymore. All guys are not same.
your going to get an answer from a teen who has seen it all.





my dad used to yell a lot at my mum a lot. he still used to swear.





steadily, my dad became more abusive and my mum refused to get help.





time and time again, i saw blood on my mum. my dad had beat her a lot.





she still refused to get help.





my mums so weak because of all of the trauma, she doesn't have long to live. she is only 50.





then my dad used to start on me when she wasn't there, it sometimes even resulted in me to stop eating for a few days.





i know what he has done has mentally scarred me for life but you cant let that happen to your kids.





im saying this because you have kids. really young kids. i don't want that for them. no one does.





so from yelling and swearing to beating my mum badly





so im on injections for my problems and my dad wants that to stop, he knows whats going to become of me but he doesn't care.





you seem like a really nice lady and she should be lucky to have you, educated, well mannered. you and the kids deserve better.





inshallah hope everything turns out good
i guess he either wanting u only talk to u and no other male, which in some cases is very good of a husband bcoz it shows he loves u but Allahu Alam in ur question because he is acting the wrong way now.





who did u marry seriously?





did u consider first?
Wow what type of husband is that..


he obviously need help


Seek help from Allah and your parents


and the Imaan


Wow i am certainly disappointed in those types of men


especially if their Muslim.
Islamic submission has lead you to into a marriage with a psychopath.
This is Serious question. It would be better if you consult elders in your family
is he an arab?
well i am not muslim but you are in a relationship with a verbal abuser and it ussaly gets worse and turns into physical violince . I have been in a relationship like that u try to make them happy and u dont understand why they are mad at you . then he is nice later and your confused . regardless of your relgion i am sure your god wants whats best for you not to be abused in this way or your children . please try to get soem help . my prayers are with you
Wow, um.





No offense, but he sounds like a tempered psychopath. I think you guys should get marriage counseling. Tell him that he shouldn't yell and accuse you of such things. He needs to show you respect. And he should hear the whole story. He is being completely irrational.





All the best. :)
whaow sounds like someone i once new


hmm


he is being very abusive to u


if i was u i would just leave him alone for now


u work u should be able to stand on ur feet


u can talk to his family see if they can sort him out





i can't say divorce as its an ugly path to take trust me but


if u have ur family on ur side it could make the process easy but than u said u are a revert:(


Ya ALLAH u shouldn't be going through this i honestly feel ur pain with two kids





Make dua for him, tell him to change his ways, avoid telling him stories like these


consult his parents perhaps or his older brothers? if they have a good relationship


lastly do not underestimate the power of dua
this is so utterly sad.i can't believe what you've been through. i am sooo very sorry. this is absolutely horrible. you married the wrong man. big time. this person is very very INSECURE and has confidence issues as well as an incredible amount of jealousy. he doesn't have the ingredients for a healthy loving adoring marriage.





divorce him. your kids will thank you. better to have a home full of peace, calmness, and seeing your mother healthy/happy than being in a house full of tears and anger and seeing your mother waste away in sadness.





divorce for the sake of your children's health and mental well being. when the mother suffers the children feel it and pick up on it.








Edit :::: ********





I HAVE TO ADD MORE. this is so heart wrenching.





please divorce him. don't fool yourself into thinking you can change him. only he can change himself. but it seems like he doesn't see any problems being the way he is.





believe me. divorce him before your kids are harmed emotionally and psychologically by this unhealthy marriage.





i promise you it is better for you and your children to live in a small tiny room where there is peace, calmness and love of a happy mother than for your kids to live in a Big Mansion full of sadness, anger, and fear. The biggest harm to the development of a healthy child is seeing their mother abused emotionally and witnessing her live her days in misery.





your only human. your not a broom in closet. for how long can u live life in utter isolation ??? not go to the park ?? not go with your family or friends to the movies %26gt;??? sooner or later your going to resume a ';NORMAL'; life and your husband is going to assault you emotionally. and the cycle WILL BE NEVER ENDING.





he is only going get worse. not better. is this kind of role model you want for your children ??? do you want your sons to be like their father and oppress their future wives ???





DIVORCE is the only OPTION. do it for a BRIGHT HAPPY HEALTHY FUTURE OF YOUR CHILDREN !!!!!!!
Why in God's good name would you covert to Islam???





In any case, Welcome to the cult of islam.





Best thing for you to do is convert back to whatever religion you practiced before. Change your name. Move to another city. Go into hiding, as I'm sure you are aware apostasy is punishable by death in the cult of ';peace, love and tolerance.';





Good luck.