My husband said the exact same thing...EXACTLY. ';I don't want to be renting when we have a baby...lets wait till we own';
We waited for five years! There was always a reason that we weren't ';ready';...I'm 33 now and approaching a closing window...so I told him...now or never....Long story short...we still dont own a house and we're 18 months pregnant and he's overjoyed.
The bottom line is this...you'll never be ';ready'; for the life changing experience that your talking about. You can plan and plan and plan and read and study and think you're prepared...but no amount of planning makes you ready.
I think it's great that he wants to save up and get into a home of your own and whatever...but frankly...then there will be something else...like, we can't afford to have a baby right now...we just bought this house!!
I think you guys need to get to the truth...I don't think it was ever about a house for us...I think we were both just scared..so we blamed it on saving for a house...Talk to him about how he honestly feels about it.
Although...waiting till you're a little older wouldn't kill you either...25 is really young...I can't even imagine having a kid when I was 25...Is he the same age?
Talk to him...and think about all the factors unselfishly..if your house is sucky...would you really want a baby crawling around in it? If you wait till you move...will there be money left over for everything you're going to need? You guys need to have a heart to heart and look over all the pros and cons...
While we were waiting...it seemed like forever for me...but looking back...I wouldn't change a thing...we've had our fun and traveled and taken exotic vacations and done all the things we wanted to before we started our little family...now I think we'll be happy that we've also had time to bond as husband and wife before we brought kids into the relationship.I'm 25 and want a baby my husband wants to wait until we own a house any suggestions or advice?
lol...by the way...I'm 18 weeks prego...not 18 months..lol
Anyway.. good luck Report Abuse
I say wait. Kids are outrageously expensive, and having the financial hurdle of buying a house behind you will help you to do your absolute best by your kids.
You're young enough that the two years that will go by won't hurt your chances or raise your chances of birth defect.
One way or another, good luck with every little thing! :)
Definatly wait until you have a house. Once you have the baby it will be REALLY hard to continue to save.
Compromise. Your husband has a good point, once you have kids it becomes very difficult to save money or to make a big move. I honeslty think you should just offer up to wait a year then move and have a kid, or get pregnant after a year and move right before the baby is born.
Relax you are only 25, you have plenty of time to have kids.
I think your husband has a good point. Raising kids is REALLY expensive and time consuming. You are so young.
Waiting is good. Patience is a virtue.
Just my opinion.
wait til you are fiancally stable, i have a one year old son but we have our own place.
You are still young he is right why rush only do it when the time is right you don't want you child to suffer specially if the house you are in now is not that good.
Do it anyway.Get pregnant.There is nothing like having a baby.Screw him.
He is a smart man. What is two years in the grand scheme of things?
You should listen to him, your husband is a very wise man. Stop whining grow up
Your husband is not in to you.
If hubby doesn't want to impregnate you let me know I sure will.
I have mixed feelings on this one. This is a very big step in your life so it's important that you both agree on it. What happens if two years from now, you still don't have the money to purchase the home? Does he have a real goal in mind? For instance, is he wanting to purchase a home that you know you can afford in the two years, or is he looking for the Bill Gates' house? You know what I mean? I, myself, did the opposite thing. I am 25 1/2 and have three children; 1,4,8 years old. I did not want to be old with babies. We both have college degrees and are in great careers. We will purchase our first home next year. My friend on the other hand is 39 1/2 and she wanted to wait until she had a house, etc... She does have a house, and a college degree, but she has to still pay daycare. Her youngest child is 4 years old. This means that she will have to retire later. Her baby won't be 18 years old until she's 54 years old. When I turn 40, I plan on buying an RV and traveling the world as an R.N. So tell your husband, if he's waiting to be financially stable to care for children, I don't believe that time ever comes unless you win the lottery. Good Luck!
Didn't you discuss this prior to getting married? If ';NO';, then you are both idiots. If ';YES';, then you both need to honor the agreement.
Wait. If that is what your husband wants to do that that is what you do. You both need to be ready or it will cause huge friction in the household. Is having a baby now with the chance of a divorce.
Actually your husband should divorce you since you are selfish and immature.
I find that if you have a goal before you have kids, once you reach that goal, there will be something else you want first. Just have the kid. You can still have the goal of a house in your future. I had my baby in an apartment and then when she was 3, we finally got our house. The most important thing is you and your husband agree. Don't trick him and get pregnant anyway.
i am 23 and i have three kids i am not living my (dream house ) but i am trying my best to do so its not that i regret having kids it's just i wish that i moved in a better place before i had any kids, my advice for you is to wait untill you get the house
good luck!
Raising children is not something you do recklessly. You need a good home %26amp; environment. so u need to have patience, not only in this very issue at hand but in everything u do in life.
The law is: good home %26amp; environment bring good children with good characters.
u know I was in the same boat. the difference is, it's a mutual decision. when we first got married, i wanted to have kids right away too. but then I soon found out it's not that easy. We bought a house a week before we got married and i tell u, u need to be patience. u can't build the roman army in 1 day. take baby steps at a time. if you're goal is to get a house, work towards it with your husband, not just him. u need to snap out of your fantasy world. when u reach that goal of getting a house, then u can start planning and working on a different one, a baby. do you work? because it sounds like your husband is the one thats making everything happen. hes got a right frame of mind. u don't want to do things backwards. it will take years for u guys to get a house if you decide to have kids now because you won't be able to save money. and thats a big part of getting a house is SAVING. be greatful for what u got right now and work within your means. communicate with your husband. he loves you and hes got a plan so let him show u that.it takes time to have everything when you're married but the most important thing is, that u both work together. its not the destination, its the journey. so hopefully that help for u because I was on the same boat like u are on.
he's right. i think it's best for the baby to be born into a family that's financially secure. i'll try and say this without sounding too offensive: you're thinking of YOURSELF, YOU want a baby, but it'll definitely be better for the baby to be born into a nice house and neighborhood, in a financially secure family that can provide for it the way it deserves to be provided for. you need to think for the child, not for yourself.
I agree and disagree with both sides.On one hand kids are great,but you want them to be as stable as poosible in their enviroment,not having to move more than once in their lives.My older kids moved about 5 times before I got custody and we moved three times.but half the fun of being a parent is the day to day uncertainty,I was a dad for the first time at 19,I miss those days of being ignorant.I'm expecting my fourth in August,and having more knowledge is taking a little of the fun away
hi
i am also 25 and ready for kids = my bf will not marry me until we own a house due to money and we can't have kids until we have a house (we live in a one bed flat) however we are really close to buying somewhere - seeing the bank tomorrow - so good luck with your endevours buy i know how you feel!
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