My husband and I are young ( he is 21 and I am 22). We are expecting our first child any day now. He has a job, but he only gets paid about $315 a week....which is rather impossible for three people to live on. I am unable to work due to a disability...and I am going to have to stay home to take care of the new baby. We are both working hard to get through college and we know that things wont ';always'; be financially hard. I suggested that we go on welfare...just for 6 months or so until we can get on our feet....but he refuses, he even went as far as to say that he would leave if I accepted welfare ( I know he wouldn't..but he sees it as shameful I guess). We are both doing the best we can with what we have,,,,so I see no shame in taking some temporary help. He has been looking for a higher paying job...but the fact is, until he gets his degree there really isn't anything out there. He is in the Marines...but only reserves, so we can't rely on that as source of income. Any advice on a good job that would render a good pay check????.....( more than 9.50/hr).....if not then should I go ahead and apply for welfare even though he isn't comfortable with it?....I dont want our little girl to suffer because we are too proud to take the extra help..... Need Advice?? My husband refuses to go on welfare...even for a short time....
if your husband refuses to take handouts, then respect him for that and let the matter drop. HE does feel shame in taking help. Don't go behind his back and do it any way. Suggest he get an extra part-time job - deliver newspapers in the morning or restock a warehouse at night or somethingNeed Advice?? My husband refuses to go on welfare...even for a short time....
You could apply for WIC. It stands for Women, infants %26amp; children. It goes according to your income, It provides, milk, cheese, formular for the baby if you don't plan to breast feed. It helps and thats what it's there for. Besides, you pay taxes, right? That where some of it goes anyway, to welfare. I understand his feelings, and it's temporary.
he can go to active marines... that would help big time, or you can get on wic, its not welfare but still helps with formula, breast feed, that will cut costs too, you need to talk to your husband, because he is part of your family too, and needs to be okay with your decisions.
Why doesn't he go active duty? He may be able to keep his rank and the time spent in the Reserves will count towards his pay (not the retirement though). Your medical expenses will be taken care of and you won't have to worry about having to work.
You can get by on that income, look into WIC for extra help with groceries, it isn't welfare and many families in the military use it as assistance, they even have WIC offices on every base
proud isn't the word STUPID is more like it. go to the store and price baby formula. approx $50 a case. which the baby will breeze through. $15 a can if lord forbid the baby is lactose intolerant. depending on the nature od your disability you maybe able to get ssi or something. but you shouldnot by any means apply behind his back. this will tell him that you don't trust him to carry the family through a rough spot. add up diapers, formula, wipes, and other baby neccessities and present it to him. maybe he will see that an infant is no financial walk in the park. at the very least welfare can help you with medical co pays, and maybe food, therefor freein up money for other necessities. another way of cuttin cost is to go on a budget with your utilities.good luck
Good for your husband!! We need more people thinking like him!! ;-) Make do with what you have. Don't buy new stuff for the baby, go to garage sales. Hubby wants to do the manly thing, SUPPORT HIS FAMILY. Be happy you have him. Welfare is no way of life and once on it, many people can't seem to get off of it. You could help earn an income by maybe babysit, sell tupperware, sell on eBay, the list goes on. Congrats on the baby %26amp; good luck to your family.
Mary in Camden, Michigan USA
PS~
Find cheaper living, that will help a lot. Cut back where you don't need to spend. It will all be okay! Trust me.
Some more suggestions to make some cash-
Have a garage/yard sale
Make crafts to sell
Offer services on free advertising places online like Yahoo Groups, you could iron, wash laundry, clean.
There really is so much to do to make a few bucks.
You can seek help through wic and possibly get foodstamp assistance BUT I doubt you are elegible to collect welfare since he has an incoming salary and seems very capable of working since he is presently working. Welfare is usually reserved for single mothers who cannot go out and work.
Dont go on welfare. You are really not that bad off and you are just perpetuating the cycle of people using the government as a crutch. Try food stamps instead, moving in with your parents, one of you could stop going to school, or WIC for the baby. There are a lot of other avenues that you could take. Going on welfare is never a short term fix. You will get too comfortable and stay on it forever. I think the biggest problem you two have is not being able to budget. What bills are costing you 500 a month? I bet there are tons of things that you can do without. Not only that, but how are you going to get back on your feet if you dont change your spending habits? Yeah the added income from welfare would help, but how is that going to help you get back on your feet after you cut it off after 6 months? I would say the best course of action is this: Get on WIC (this is a program for your baby that will take care of her needs) go over your budget and see what you can live without, because I bet there is a lot! And lastly, if you have done all this but cannot make ends meet, move in with family. Going behind your husbands back is only going to piss him off, and what if he does leave? You are a team, and if he is very against going on welfare, then youre not going on welfare. End of story. I think too many people use it because they dont want to try and make it on their own. I understand about your disability, however you can do it on your own. Good luck
I look at this way, sometimes you have to do what you have to do, everyone needs help with issues from time to time, it might be embarrassing and he doesn't fill like the breadwinner but things happen in life that we sometimes can't control, if it's helps y'all out for a while I don't see any shame in it. You worked and payed taxes didn't ya. Look at it that way. I'm sure other people have been in this situation before. Nobody has to know unless you tell them.
I'll actually answer your question about job options for your husband, rather than just tell you to go on WIC or food stamps. If he is in the Marines, even reserves, he could look into security work, since he can (I assume) handle a firearm. It may end up being second or third shift, but it pays closer to $12 a hour, and if he carries a weapon it's usually a couple of dollars an hour more. Retail or restaurant management is also a more lucrative line of work, although again the hours might not be ideal. Most stores or restaurants do not require a college degree to be a manager and usually pay anywhere from $11/hr to $35,000/year. And that's working as an assistant manager or shift supervisor type of position, not a general manager. Do you have health insurance? That would be my bigger concern with a baby on the way is making sure you and the baby are covered-even if you don't go on welfare if you don't have insurance look into Medicade or something similar. Good luck.
i think you both should have thought about this BEFORE you became pregnant!
looks like someone agrees with me! im sorry about you situation, you come here asking questions, and when someone tries to help, everything is NO. then why bother?!? if you have a true disability, you can recieve an income from that.
if he wont go on welfare, then he wont. dont know what else to tell you!
If it were just you two and he was too proud to go on welfare then I would understand. He has to think that it is not only him he is thinking about now! He will have a little one and a nursing mother who needs to be healthy! At LEAST go on wic. Even if he didn't want food stamps or medicaid (even though that is what they are there for...hard times, not people living off of them bc they don't want to get a job) I would say if he wants to go into debt with hospital bills, not eat healthy himself then that is fine. but you HAVE to get wick so you can stay healthy while nursing the baby or the baby will stay healthy with formula (have you checked how expensive that is? and sometimes women have hard times nursing....it really isn't that easy some women end up not being able to do it at all. I could only do 1/2 and 1/2 breast and formula milk bc I just wouldn't produce it) Yeah, he has to suck it up and get some help.
Well let me say this I do understand where both of you all are coming from. But however the help would be great from welfare just don't get comfortable and use it as an excuse not to do better. Also look at the fact the welfare is going to want their money back somewhere down the line and the are going to go after your boyfriend for that payment. Cause they work with the DA to enforce child support so make sure you really think about it before you have your boyfriend on the line for a payment back to welfare. Well let me just say this as far as WIC now that's something I would do and he would just have to be mad. Cause formula is expensive. And they also help you with milk,eggs, chesse,beans, ceral, and juice for yourself. Do the WIC thing asap.
If the math just doesn't add up then I would go ahead and at least get in WIC I think you two need a serious heart to heart. Your baby should not suffer due to his pride. Try to compromise and then see what you two can maybe live without or try advice from family. I wish you good luck and you two will be just fine just try and talk to him.
Who deemed you ';disabled';, If your doctor did, then u have every right to apply for a disablility check. Once that is approved, you most likely will qualify for medical insurance, food stamps, and rent assistance, maybe even for the baby.
If your disabled, you can't help needing financial assistance. And while it may be wonderful that your hubby wants to do everything, it will be very hard for him to cover the cost of everything by himself.
I'm not going to be one of the people lecturing you here.. and I see that most of them are, lol.
A good job that pays over $9.50 an hour would be Wal-Mart. If you have a Wal-Mart near you (which everyone does, lol) if he can get on their 3rd shift team it's like $11 per hour. Also, if you have a Wal-Mart Distribution Center near you, all they do is unload trucks but it's literally like $13-$16 an hour.
Also, he could try meeting with a Temp Agency. He can tell them the amount of money he needs to bring in, and say he will work ANY job that pays at least that amount. They will do all the job hunting for him. Sometimes it works out really well because they have some temp-to-perm positions which means if he works out for like 3 months they will hire him permanently.
I wish you guys luck - it WILL get better, okay? :)
(Trust me I feel your pain - my hubby just got laid off. The new job he took was a $7.00 per hour paycut.. we jumped from $23 an hour to $16 an hour. Ouch. And then the next month landlord said our rent is getting hiked because his taxes are going up. Oi. Keep your chin up - we're trying to!)
I completely understand where your husband is coming from. My husband is the same way. When we married he was in the Marine Corps, we had our daughters while he was still active duty. Let me tell you a Corporals pay does not go far w/ 4 people at all (we did not live in base housing either). While all our friends were accepting WIC %26amp; food stamps we did not. Sure it was hard but it made us appreciate what we have now so much more
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