im here to vent more than anything...but i also need some kind of good support...i know in the end its my decision and my decision only...but this is a big change for me and frankly im scared..i dont do good with change at all! So me and my husband been married for 8 years...we have 3 kids age he is a wonderful father...a great dad to his kids..i am also 6 months pregnant...but..We argue nonstop...for the past few months literally i dunno last 7 months he has been drinking nonstop....we are barely making it money wise...let alone afford his beer habits and all...when he drinks he will drink brandy and beer....at times...and when we only have 5 bucks to our name he will get beer ...he becomes very cocky..and very annoying...when he gets drunk...and even start crap with me for no reason..just to get on my nerves...im not saying i am no angel here there is times i may say things out of line or etc...but i dont do as near as the things he does and has...as soon as he walks in the door he complains about everything why the house isnt spotless and etc etc...i do clean...as much as i can..i have 3 kids running around and im pregnant..and im depressed...i have a car that will only make it 2 mins down the road b4 it goes hot on me...i am always dealing with that...my family lives 30 to 40 mins away ..and i just feel like the walls are inclosing in on me....persay...i never have money to do anything...nor a car to get anywhere except take my son to school....i am not some uptown girl i dont need alot of things to make me happy as long as bills are payed and food is on the table i am fine..but i must say i get tired of be enclosed all the time ...not too mention dealing with him and his attitude and the way he drinks and etc....i have no friends ....i am just here with me and my kids...he goes out and works 12 hours a day...why i sit in the house....i have come to the point of being so depressed that i spend alot of time on the computer ....now dont get me wrong i take care of my kids....i do i love them with all my heart ...but in any spare time i get im on here with people i have made friends with and etc....its like an escape for me to go to and actually have fun and be myself...without all the crap here and etc....the thing is with my husband....i frankly do not want to have sex with him ...the last time i did ..i was just sicken by it and was in tears...bc i just did not want too....last night he was drunk i was on the computer reading some articles on the net and etc...and he comes and sits right up on me next to me...then starts to insult me and just nag nag nag...i told him to leave me alone he just refused to listen to me but kept acting like a child and kept going and going...the whole thing was he was telling me something that he has already told me on numerious times and frankly i get so tired of when he gets drunk he repeats himself and just doesnt shut up...i asked him to talk about something else or to stop talking about that all the time ....it wasnt a big deal really i could have sat here...and listen to him brag about the dogs againnnnn like he always likes to do..which is annoying and he is the type if he is talking to you...he will tell you look at me...or if your not looking at him he will be like you hear me? so annoys me so i told him to stop that he was aggravating me ...and that in return...he started to insult me with little things and before we knew it ...it was a full blown arguement...he literally put his face up to mine..you know how some people will literally get all up in your face and talk smack..well he was doing that and i told him what exactly i thought of him bc i felt it and i was tired of it and i put my hand in his face never touch him though...it was more like get out of my face like talk to the hand sorta thing lol but wasnt meaning to do the talk to the hand lol ...was just trying to get him out of my face....well he started calling me names and etc...and then slammed his hand on my arm...and roughed me around a little then did it again to my wrist....then i told him to take his hands off of me ..he tells me there is consquences to my actions and etc etc...that i provoke him to be the way he was and etc and no i felt it was the other way around with nagging me and me saying nicely several times just leave me alone and etc....i dunno my kids love him to death and i would really hate to break up the family...but i just dont know what to do anymore the more and more i try...i just get so unhappy..im not happy....im depressed..all i do is cry..i dont ever feel like doing anything i just i dunno....so basically i just wanted some advice and etc...please no rude comments bc this is as real as it gets to real....and it may be silly to some people but to me it isnt i have to live with it everyday...
i know i got alot into detail but it just felt i needed too..to get the advice ..and etc...thanks guys and i appreciate itMarriage advice...Leaving Husband...?
Well first off if he is getting in your face and trying to tell you that you have to suffer consequences from him for your actions then that's a RED flag right there saying that you need to get out of that house and out of that relationship. Call around your area for a women and children's shelter. They will take you and your children in and give you the support you all need to get away from this man. I understand that you love him but honey he ain't loving you at all. To stay at home and take care of three children, be pregnant and take care of all the household chores..you are working three jobs compared to his one. He needs to get off his high horse because I garauntee there is no way he would be able to handle all the things you do in your 'daily routine'. Furthermore, it doesn't matter if you are married or not..when a woman says NO she means NO and if he forces himself upon you and it's upsetting you to the point of tears then your husband practically raped you. Please do yourself and your children a favor and get away from this man.Marriage advice...Leaving Husband...?
Honey break your rants up into paragraphs.
Sorry for what you're going through, but I couldn't keep my place in that thing.
uh leave him its gonaa be hard by the sound of it but worth it in the end
You can do so much better! Please remember we are all thinking about you and support whatever decision you make. From experience leave now before it gets worse. There is a man out there who will love you and take care of you and the kids. You man needs help and he won't get it sounds like so go if you have family that close call them to come help you leave. Hardest call I ever made best call I ever made. Good luck
You need to leave and the sooner the better - maybe not forever but as long as your there and dont give him any consequences to his action and act on them he will continue doing what he is doing. If you think you still love him and may still want to be with him just tell him that if he does not stop you will leave.. and actually do it..he may finally realize you are serious and stop doing stupid stuff.. but you also have to be prepared in the case that he does not stop - you have to be ready to do everything on your own as a single mom. I know you dont want to beak up your family but you have to realize that in the end it may even be better for this kids.. if he gets drunk a lot he may do something really stupid one day and harm your kids.. and you dont want it to come to that
IF HE DOESN'T CHANGE HIS WAYS THEN YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM . GIVE HIM TIME TO CHANGE TELL HIM IF HE DOESN'T CHANGE THEN YOUR LEAVING HIM.
So your husband is an alcoholic, works all day and comes home and drinks to relieve the stress. You are a stay at home mom with no life and you are so miserable you cry when you have sex with him. If you stay in this unhealthy relationship you will not only damage yourself but your children will be damaged by the drinking, fighting and general unhappiness. You need to get out now before his temper harms you or your unborn child. Asking him to get help will just start a fight. Things are not going to get easier and you are only going to get more depressed as time goes on. And you do not want your children to think this relationship is ok. They may resent you now but when they get older they will respect that you had the strength to get them out of the situation.
Before you make that kind of decision takes some time away maybe at your parents house and think about it. Sometimes it is hard to see when you are too close to something it may be best to step back and think of what is best for the children and you but the kids first.
I would leave him especially after he got in my face. That's a sign of disrespecting you as his wife. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I used to be married. I have been with someone else for the last two years. All things are possible. I know it will be hard on the kids. like you said, it is your decision. But think how he might react towards one of them if he got in their face when he is drunk. He may hurt them. Good luck on your decision. I hope things get better.
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