You really should find a supportive counsellor. Your situation is more complex than any one simple answer can offer you. You're still angry about past events and this child is a reminder. This is a transference issue that needs to be sorted out with proper counselling.I need advice. My husband had a baby with another woman.?
The fact you are still with him shows you are still willing to work on the marriage. Go to the beach or a field and scream your lungs out then go home and take care of the baby and the rest of your children like the good mother you are and brave yourself to being the mother to that baby since chances are you will be the only mother she will ever know.
Seek a counselor who can help you work through the emotions you are feeling... I can't imagine the strain this is putting on you, but remember that you shouldn't be angry or frustrated with the child.
This child is innocent to the behavior that gave her life... She is a beautiful child regardless of any other details...
Take time for yourself, and find a good stress reliever while you get through your lingering emotions about the situation...
Good Luck to you...
Jealousy? Maybe you know deep down inside it's not BOTH of your guys kids, it's his and another woman's, while your other kids are your guys Maybe you're feeling like you're missing out on that bond? When I'm upset or feel something aggravating, I go run or punch a punching bag or something, but don't take it out on that little girl, she wasn't the one to choose this situation, you know?
You really need to be talking to a therapist about all this: its A LOT to deal with a nobody can tell you it isn't!
I would try this: SEVERAL times a day, say this out-loud to her ';You are an innocent child who deserves love and care despite this situation.'; See if it doesn't soften your heart.
I'm SO sorry you're in this spot, Honey!!
xoxoxoxo
Since you have accepted that this child will be raised with the rest of your children, I strongly advise you to get counseling NOW. The older the child gets the more they will know you don't want them - you have to fix yourself to accept and treat this child equally to your own children. Anything less then that is wrong. Why should the child suffer?
Why did you agree to this arrangement? This is insane.
There is no human way you can treat this child equally to your own children... she is a constant reminder of your husband's infidelity.
Tell your husband he will simply need to make other arrangements for his mistress' offspring. It's too much for anyone to ask of you.
I'm not your saying your the same ';level'; as these people you've chosen to co-mingle with, but it just goes to show ya, you have to be careful who you associate with. You wanted to slum it when you were younger, and now your reaping what you sow.
Either that, or your all a bunch of white trash junkies. Can't tell, really.
This is a deal breaker!
Now you have to decide where you want to take your life.
The child is not going away.
Accept, or leave. It isn't gonna get easier unless you make one of those two decisions.
Trust me. I know how you feel!
You are 100% right on how you feel. Dont let anyone tell you other-wise!
Congratulations?
You are officially submissive!!!!
And you can look forward to the ho getting out of jail and moving in with her baby daddy! Yaaaay.
Hope you like sharing your husband with his GF in the same house.
in my opinion.not advised. you forgive your husband.because you accepted the baby. right. so move on.How will you move on if you always looked back the past.That your husband did it to you..
I wouldn't do it. The other options aren't good, though. Foster care? Are there any grandparents who would do it? Frankly, I'd divorce him and he could deal with it on his own. I feel for you, and I totally understand how you feel.
Go to the gym, jog, kickbox, anything, but please, don't take it out on the child, she's the least guilty of all.
Is it the mistake of that baby.
She is innocent and even dont know who is her mom.
so try to give her love if you can or join her in good rehabilitation centers or ashrams.
Go to therapy, you can't take your anger for your husband and the other woman out on an innocent baby.
You have already accepted the situation. Better put up with it till you can.
divorce your cheatin husband to start....the child is not to blame, the mother is not to blame...your husband told her he loved her before she spread her legs...
Love the baby kill the husband
Therapy and quick before you do something stupid!
girl both of you need to go to counselling because that feeling is'nt going to go away.
that really sucks!
I can tell you from experience that you have to give it some time. My daughter's father had a baby while we were together and I didn't want anything to do with the baby at all. His mom was a dead beat and my daughter's father asked me to watch the baby from time to time. I ended up taking to baby everywhere with me and to this day I love him like I love my own daughter. When I call home, he answers the phone and we talk for a long time before giving his dad the phone(I moved out of state) He tells me he misses me and I really do miss him. Birthdays and Christmas he gets the same treatment as my daughter. It took about 2 years to get to that point but he is the son I never had and I love him to death.
It is not the baby's fault, who you need to be angry at is at your husband. This baby did not ask anyone to come into this world. The baby does not owne you honesty and faithfulness. REMEMBER IT WAS YOUR HUSBAND THAT CHEATED NOT THIS INNOCENT BABY!!!!!! How would you feel if someone treated your kids in the manner you are treating this child. You decided to take this man back into your life then you must deal with it but not take it on the baby. Have you realize how you make this poor innocent baby feel? This baby probably thinks your his mother since his biological mother is not around. I'm sure this baby feel your rejection and that you prefer the other kids.
If you can't take this find someone else to take care of the baby and make that worthless husband do it. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY THAT YOU ARE TAKING IT OUT ON THIS POOR BABY AND NOT YOUR QUILTY HUSBAND, WHO IS WHO YOU NEED TO BE ANGRY AT. If you don't want your kids to be treated bad don't do it someone else's baby.
First of all stop thinking of that woman when you look at that little girl. I know your hurt and angry but she is just a little girl and she needs her daddy. If this doesn't work out she will have no where to go and your husband will have to leave with her is that what you want. I would hope you wouldn't send her off with other family members..She needs her daddy just as much as your two little girls, because her mom is obviously a loser and is in jail..She needs your love and guidance as she gets older. Don't be the wicked stepmother from Cinderella...maybe you should go to counseling to get help with your emotions, because to take out your frustrations and anger that you should have for your husband not just that women or definately not that little girl..Its not alot for him to ask of you because your the one that stayed with him and knew he had this child. You either have to make the decision to divorce and move on or control your emotions give the love that child needs and deserves. I feel bad for her. Poor little baby..
First of all, I give you massive kudos for trying to make this work. Many of us might not have that kind of stamina (or something). You're dealing with 2 big violations: the cheating and then he reorganized your family without your permission.
Trite as it sounds, I'd suggest you and your husband get some good couples counseling. If this is going to work long term, you have to find a way to get past the anger and resentment, which are 2 separate issues. And your husband needs to hear from a third party what is being asked of you, and what he needs to do to help both of you succeed.
Also, I'm sure you've thought of this, but I assume the paternity of the child has been confirmed by DNA? If mom is in jail for drugs, your hubby was probably one out of quite a few during that month.
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