Advice about husband and pornography? Help me understand..?

Yesterday while looking for something I recently searched for on my husband's browser, I found a ton of porn sites. We have been together over 5 years and he knew from the very beginning how much I dislike pornography and how I feel about it. It hurts that we don't have sex often, but he just loves looking at other women on the internet; Am Iwrong to feel like this? I'm know this makes me sound insecure and I admit that I am, he is too and also said that he would be pissed if he caught me looking at other men on the internet, he also swears he didn't go to the sites, but sadly, I don't believe him. So, women: How do you if if your husband/boyfriend looks at porn? And men: Why do you do it? How do you feel about your wife and do you still find her more beautiful than any of the women in the porn that you look at? Just trying to figure out why men do it? I love him very much and just don't get why he wouldn't rather be looking at me?Advice about husband and pornography? Help me understand..?
Well first of all, I would try addressing why you don't have sex regularly. Its a really important part of any relationship, in my opinion. Do you try to initiate intimacy? I think both parties need to make an effort at keeping romance in a relationship.





That being said, a lot of guys use pornography cause its just less stressful. If he comes home from a long day at work, he may feel guilty about not having the energy for a full blown sack session. It takes effort to make sure you're pleasing your partner and giving them the kind of attention in bed they deserve. Maybe its just easier to go online, look at a picture on a screen and get it over with. Its kind of like grabbing fast food instead of taking the time to cook a really nice dinner.





Whatever the case, I would try not to take it personally, it probably has little to do with you. My fiance has strong feelings against pornography so I can't say I've been in the same position. But we do have a friend that is very into it, and I have to say he seems to think the world of his wife. I get the impression they have a very passionate relationship and the pornography is his own separate thing.





What I would do is maybe discourage the online use as it can mistakenly lead people to illegal sites or slow down your computer with viruses. Tell him to keep a magazine at home instead, but out of respect for you, keep it somewhere private. I would focus on making sure you are both happy with your sex life but worry less about what he does with his alone time within the privacy of our own home.





Most importantly don't make it a reflection of how attracted he is to you. I might like looking at Edward Norton in a movie but given the choice I'd still pick my partner. He is a good looking guy but his personality makes him all the more attractive. Its human to look at other people, but I'm sure he married you for good reason!Advice about husband and pornography? Help me understand..?
I've never understood why so many women get so upset over porn.


However...you say that you're not having sex very often, that's a different story all together.


It's officially interfering with your sex life...that's not normal.


Try this:


Tell him you'd like it if after he were done watching, if he could come to bed and re-enact a few of the scenes.


See how that works.


Good luck.
the porn is really his problem, not yours, unless it starts affecting


major parts of your life like financial or if he starts raping you.


so try to forget about the porn. if you want your man to feel like having sex with you, you simply cannot nag him about things like this.





nagging causes resentment and it is very hard to feel amorous with someone you resent.
It's because looking at you for 60 years is boring. He needs variety and stimulation. As long as he's just looking and still having sex with you, then it's not hurting anything. Time to get over it and just live.
This is not your fault, and it's false to say men must look at porn or cheat. My husband does neither. I'd be more concerned about the lie. He probably has a bigger problem than you know.





http://pornaddicthubby.com/
Its an age old problem just now instead of porn mags hidden under the bed its porn videos on the internet. Try not to get upset, you sound quite uptight. Why don't you have sex very often? Maybe he is watching porn because you are not having sex very often, who has decided not to have sex, you or him?





Do you worry he compares you to these women? Its you he lives with not them, try to accept that he isn't comparing you to them. Lots of men fantasise about women in different pornographic situations, its just that, fantasy. It makes the world go round.





For what its worth I watch a lot of online porn and I never compare the blokes in the videos to my b/f, I couldn't tell you what they looked like 5 minutes after I log off to be honest. Its just a quick sexual release nothing more than that. Nothing to do with love or companionship.





Edit : If he says he's tired etc invest in a vibrator and just say '; OK honey I'll play with myself later if you are tired'; and leave him be. He'll probably find that a real turn on. You guys need to talk more, you could be depressed, see your GP maybe? and he needs to help make you feel sexy.
i am cool with it ...keep him away from the real life sex action when wifie is not home..


he rather watch porn then shagging some other women
If he is using porn as an outlet rather than sex, there's a problem that needs to be addressed. Whether it's his problem or yours as a couple is up to you to decide.





Guys look at porn because we use masturbation to scratch an itch- to end the distraction of wanting sex when we are trying to be productive in non-sexual activities. We're visual creatures, and porn is idyllic. Did you ever notice how many women in those movies would be called ';fat*ss'; by other women? we look at ultrafeminine, curvy women in porn preferentially, because there's a genetic drive that we can satisfy, to be interested by women who look very fertile. So, the answer is mostly biological.


THe fact that you're not comfortable with pornography is understandable. The fact is, though, you both need to agree on improving your real love life, and not your fantasies. You're missing out on the good stuff, the real stuff.


Talk with him. Be firm, be organized, be serious.
First of all, his watching porn has nothing to do with you, so relax about your body. Guys who get into porn do so for the fantasy of all of it. They know in thier minds, they will never have this kind of woman, or sex, as nothing or nobody will ever be as good as that fantasy. You could look like a porn star, and it would be the same deal. Its NOT about you. My advice is to ignore it, as at some point he will get tired of that and want you. YOU he can have, has, and knows this is real. The more you make of this, the more he will do it. Eh, let him have his fantasy, don't get mad about it. Too, don't go overboard, but just say, was it good for you, make a joke of it. Offer him a cigar, chocolates, anything that in a backhanded way mocks it, but lets him wake up to the idea its all fake.


Then, when he least expects it, watch one with him. It might put him in the mood to be with you. No guys wants to watch porn with his mate there. He will turn it off, tune into you, and let fun go from there.


Ya have to be kind of sneaky with men, its the only way we ladies get ahead. It is better to look at you in the mirror, tell yourself you are fabulous, better than the porn star he can't have. Trust me, he will come around.
Listen, all that ';most beautiful woman in the world'; crap is just that, crap. The average woman is overweight and doesn't take care of herself.





Men are visual. Plus even if a guy married a chick like Jessica Alba, after a while no matter how hot the chick is, you get bored looking at the same ole thing, especially the same ole thing after its gained 30lbs.





The only guys who aren't like this are guys who never had any real options with women and basically fell in love with any woman who spread their legs.
Hi the problem is that men look at it in an unemotional way whereas women can't. For them sex it's just sex but thr worring thing is that your sex life is paying for that as he's probably releiving himself in front of the computer. My husband used to love watching porn and then he just startedto treat me as a piece of meat in the bedroom.If you don't like porn i think your reaction is normal and your partner should respect that and stop watching it instead why don't you try spiceing up your sex life, buy some toys or naughty clothes and you will have two problems solved- better sex life and no need to watch porn.


good luck