Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Advice about husband?

Ok me and my husband have been seperated for 2 weeks now. I made a big mistake yesterday I found out where he was staying and i followed him. he got so mad. I asked him if we were over and he said he has hope. I took of my ring and gave it to him yesterday. Big mistake. he hollered at me cursed at me. told me to leave him the f*** alone.I made a big mistake. He said last night when u are looking for something u never find it but when u quit looking u find it. What does he mean by this? He said he has a little bit of hope. does this mean we have a little chance. He is still calling. and he is still coming over on the weekend to watch the kids. He said I know yr number I know where u live let me come to u . Is there a chance at all for us. or have I totally messed up any chance at all for us . when I tell him i love him sometimes he tells me back and sometimes he dont. I need some honest advice here can u help me.Advice about husband?
Games. How old are you two.


Get to talk to him and get your answers, and go onAdvice about husband?
Sounds like the emotions and tensions are running high. You both would probably do well to slow down and think about how you really feel about things. While thinking, stop baiting each other. It's not hard to push each others buttons, and its not helping the situation.





The best conclusions are reached from a calm and rational standpoint, even in matters of love.
I think he's telling you not to contact him, so that he can play and have fun. ie: messing with other females. I think you need to stop all contact, except for him seeing the kids. Don't call him or contact him in any way. Move on with your life. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be putting you through this. You aren't just his wife, you are also the mother of his kids, and this is how he treats you? Forget about him, he sounds like a dog!
Sometimes seperation makes the heart grow fonder. I would give him some space. Let him be for a bit and just go about your life. Take a break from each other and see what happens. Sometimes that's all it takes, just some time apart. Hope this helps. :)
He wants you to back off. ';Let him come to you'; Guys are pursuers. Ugh, this is why our generation has it all wrong. Let him be the man, let him follow you, let him look for you. He may or may not come back but he wants to be the man.
my husband and i went through something like that not long ago. i quite calling him, and quite trying to get him to come home. he started calling me every day. and asked to come by to see our kids. i didn't push him, but i did tell him i still love.


we were separated for over a month. i finally told him that if he really loves me, and wants our marriage to work, then he would come home.


two day later he did. we are now in counseling and working on things.


just give your husband time alone. dont call him or bother him. if he really loves you, he will come home. good luck
Before starting to panic about the thought of losing your husband - think about how life was prior to the separation. Obviously, there is/was something VERY serious going on.





Sometimes the reasons get clouded when you think about all the ways life might change. And change is a very scary thought for most of us.





My guess is that you weren't very happy... Not genuinely. I would say just by the responses you listed that he's had - I would be willing to guess he isn't the most caring, attentive, responsible husband and I bet you've secretly wished for someone very different - more loving, more genuine... If this is true - all of this may be a good thing. A blessing in disguise.





When he said that sometimes you never find it until you quit looking - An example would be a desperate woman searching for love, dating every guy she meets trying to find the one - time after time it's wrong - and then she finally gives up and thinks she will never find him - then on the way to the store she runs into a guy and they meet and then bam, fall instantly in love and live happily ever after. It means you can't force something - that when it's meant to be it will be... Things happen when you least expect.





So stop trying to win him back or save the marriage - let the pieces fall into place and maybe it will work - maybe it won't. There is always room for hope but you need to give him the space he is wanting. Smothering him and following him will only push him away more.





I'd be willing to bet you're better off without him, but I know that in your current state of mind, you probably can't see that right now.





I wish you the best!
You have not made any mistakes here. He is making the mistakes by reacting the way hes reacting to each situation. By him telling you to let him come to you, is very selfish. He only wants you at his convenience. Why would you settle for emotional abuse like this? Honey its time for you to pick yourself up dust yourself off and get over this man. The best revenge is to go on with your life and make yourself happy. Leave him behind and move forward. Hes not worthy and you deserve better, but you wont know this until you stop settling for this kind of abuse. If you stay you are just teaching him that to treat you this way is ok. Its not. There is life after divorce, its just what you decide to make of it

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