I caught my husband please advice...?

I caught my husband talking and emailing to his ex girlfriend.I checked his cell phone bills and there were numerous calls made to her in the middle of the night,or at work etc. We have been married 5 yrs now,I always thought he is very loyal to me and I never had a single doubt that he would cheat on me.I confronted him and he said,that woman (his ex) would keep calling him and needed to talk to him as a freind.And he was just hiding from me because he did not know how I would react......What should I do,should I trust him again?...also F.Y.I we live in US and he has been making international calls to her and vice-versa. And also,I am 10 weeks pregnant (our first child) and his excuse was that he was anyway going to stop all communication with her as soon as he found out I was pregnant and the last few calls he made to her was to tell her to stop!!!!!!I caught my husband please advice...?
Hello...to the person who said she should stop trying to be a mother and be a wife and trust him...give me a freakin' break...why should she trust him??...HE LIED TO HER...HAS BEEN LYING TO HER...about another woman no less...and if he was any kind of husband HE WOULD HAVE TOLD HER ABOUT THE CALLS...that's why people don't trust each other...because people keep stupid secrets like that...and if the other woman meant nothing, then he would have said, 'hey, honey, so and so called me the other night...man, she's having problems and really needed to talk';...or something like that...totally open about it...that's how that should have gone...not her having to find it on cell phone bill or email...she had every right to confront him...so get over that...and, yes...pregnant or not...talk to him seriously about it and tell him that you are hurt because he did not tell you and that now you are having trust issues...if he loves you, he will stop communication with this woman if he knows it hurts you that much...or he will explain to you and make certain you know, without any doubt, that they are just friends. Good luck!I caught my husband please advice...?
Hopefully he's telling the truth about stopping the communication. You've always felt he was loyal to you so you have a good foundation. And since the calls were international you can trust there were no meetings involved. Everyone goes through junk they wish they didn't have to. He could have been sincerly trying to help his friend through a tough time %26amp; stay considerate to you. But next time she contacts him he needs to let you in on it so he is not hiding anything from you.
Do not deal with these phone calls. His ex needs some mental or emotional support and that is very nice of your husband to help her. He is a supportive person. Even, you may ask him regularly that how his ex is, or feels. And if you are really brave once you may invite his ex and look in her face. But in the friendly way, of course.
Ignore it for a few months and reassess with him then. If he persists continue to voice your protests.
Madam I am not a lawyer A lawyer may have one advice





But still I feel your question needs my attention.





I feel you have caught your husband only on cell phone that too from tele bills





This proves only acquaintance and does not prove any illicit relations, adultry or cheating sexually... that is infidelity...





Legal system may require you to prove your point with proofs ,witness, valid enough to support your claim..





Here you are doubting only and not proving any of the points mentioned above which may warrant a divorce from your hubby..





You may be Mentally disturbed Now that your husband is cheating you.. and will do more harm to you...


but think about your situation


you are pregnant


your emotional turmoil will first affect your child and you.


then your finance, your family too will be affected...


i understand it is very difficult to keep silent on this very sensitivie issue


if you keep quiet , some will say you are fool , and if you fight you risk the troubles with your health and child...





so think if you Love your husband , and want to continue the relationship even after this exposure... accept the situation





if you think you will fight and separate, but with his child you will bear and give the birth





if you think to separate and abort and leave him


and be own your own...





these are the situations ... you may get many support groups Indians as well as American too


but real you have to decide and think how u will live by ... In US or return to India...
You know already whether he can be trusted or not. He doesn't have to answer the calls or the emails...who is twisting his arm? If the woman continues to call and email...it's because he is responding. Tell him to change phone number and email address...no excuses! Above all do what is best for you and your child.
i dont know iam sorry....but whatever you do...talk to him about it...see if he is loyal or not....please be careful...lives are ruined by false decisions.
You both neeed to go see a marriage counselor right away. If he is willing to go then that's a start.





I do not think he will stop calling her or her calling him. It is just the way it is for men specially now that you are going to have a baby it will be worst. You need to get yourself prepared for as long as he is in the internet chatting away he willl never stop. Using internet for good information is not bad but so many husbands/wives went stray because of the internet. Some are smart not too get into temptation and some go stray in their marriage. Goodluck and hopefully you can save your marriage before it is too late.
It is sad you dont have a trusting relationship with your husband and neither did he trust you in sharing his situation with you. It is surely wrong for a husband to do this not letting you know that his ex was bothering him. If only he confessed to you from the beginning perhaps you would have trusted him more.





There seems to be a trust issue and this is only making things worst. You may have to ask your self some questions to yourself first, why did your husband not choose to share this problem with you? Seems to me like, your husband is still having some connection with his ex. because it is easy to put an end to all calls ...all he had to do was not answer her calls, but he has taking 8 months convincing her not to call, which sounds so absured.


I wonder how this marriage really took place. There is no trust and you are having a baby. Wonder what kind of home you both will be providing for the new born, Children do not have a health mind when they grow with parents conflicting. Besides will you be able to trust him again, i bet there is already some betrayal on your husbands part. This can be hard on you for ever. Do you think you can lead a life with a man who was still having relationship withhis ex even after being married to you.


If he could not convince his ex to stop for 8 months when will he succeed in the future for another 8 months? Will you do this to your husband? I am sure you have a no answer? then why is it so hard for him to put an end..how do you think he would react if you had a long distance relationship with your ex? will he give you an another chance? Why is it that you have to give him another chance? Is this an Indian Culture that is forceing you to do ?
The fact remains that your husband was unfaithful to you which he had no business to be whether you were pregnant or not. Apparently there is no proper excuse for his behaviour. Anyway, since he has promised to stop all the nonsense after you became pregnant, you might forgive him after all. But then again a single call to his ex gf asking her to stop all communications from her side would have sufficed. He hardly needed more.
This is a pretty bad time for you to be going through all this.


My sympathies.These international calls are very expensive.


with a baby on the way you would think he would be more careful with the families finances.Your hubby is a player.he is keeping his options open.Never allow him to travel alone to the country in question.If you decide to keep him that is one of the things he has to agree to.Believe me when I say I know exactly what is going on.That man is lying to you.This is his test of loyalty.You buy the phone card this time.tell him you are going to call her on your home phone and turn speaker phone on.Do not give him prior notice,if you do he will call her and coach her.do this on a day he will normally be home.Let him initiate the conversation-Hello and give his Name.Then you hear what terms of endearment she would come back with.as the conversation warms up.you jump in.Do not allow him to tell her you are on the line.If he has been giving advice like he claims he shouldn't be worried should he?If you do not put a stop to this he will be traveling back to see her and be makingg babies with her,THERE IS NOTHING INNOCENT ABOUT THESE CALLS





Take it from one who knows.
So if you would not be pregnant....he'd still be at it!!





Men are stupid. Tell him this is it and he doesn't get to have another chance. If he gives you one more reason to think something fishing is going on he can pack and leave and you will be cashing his child support with a smile on your face.
Well, I think is sign of trouble.


Hope he is telling the truth!


So, that is nothing you can do besides give him credit and wait for.


But, if he does contact her again, is better you have an idea of what is gonna be your next step.


Don't make a scene if you don't want to take an action!


God Bless you and your baby.
dont listen to anyone try to sit for a while and think wat is happenin


is he tellin u the truth or .............


he really wants this baby or ..........


he loves u or ..........


if he really loves u then i dont think he will continue callin or talkin to her and cehck his mails and bills this month u will know the truth cause we can suggest u many thins but its ur life:)


just wanted 2 tell that whenever u check his thins dont say that 2 him it will hurt him an maybe that might become a cause for him 2 call her


ALL THE BEST
Just do your routine life and care the baby inside. You're his wife, where else the girlfriend of his is only a girlfriend. If you're good to him, he's in the most difficult situation. But if Quarrel, that's the end. He's having reasons and find more reason that between both you there's no more understanding. Care for your married life. I really know how you feel. It very difficult to take it. You must take it. You must be very patient. Always give attention to your husband when he's at home. Talk and joke with him. Discuss on the future of the baby e.g. the name of the baby, the education and so on and so on. At time be a waiter during food. With these attentions given to him he's in a position to be with you more. Maybe, he will realize you're the real women to him.
dont let your gusrd down.there should be no reason for them to have contact.the phone calls you can see who calls who and he doesnt have to answer her calls.whats his excuse for emailing her? it shouldnt of took you being pregantfor him to tell her to stop.if you know its still going on,hes going to know how to hide it better ,then i would get on with my life without him,hell be the one missing out.
Don't u know the example off Bill Clinton. Behave like his wife and keep the home united. She is great lady
If he is only talking then why do you object. They may talk on any subject. Friendship can not be eradicated and if he talks to his subordinate who are girls do you want to stop. It is reduculous that because he is taliking to his girlfriend he is not loyal. Try to belief your husband.
Either you leave him or live with him. If you leave him he will get chance to have his ex girlfriend with him. If you live with him he still will continue all this again %26amp; again. Now you have to decide what to do next. You are pregnant %26amp; I don't advice for any abortion for this which I feel is not good for your health as well it is wrong too. Better continue your pregnancy %26amp; try avoiding such matter for the time being. If he realize his fault %26amp; stop all this it will good for all of you otherwise you have enough reason to break this marriage %26amp; move out %26amp; let him do whatever he wants. You cannot stop such person %26amp; its always good to leave them once for ever, no counseling will help in such cases %26amp; he is not doing unintentionally but with full knowledge of his activity can lead to his matrimonial break. Five years of marriage %26amp; a husband indulging with his ex girlfriend with affairs cannot be taken lightly; you have to make firm decision about it very seriously.
you shouldent jump the gun that quick. chances are high hes telling the truth.
well give him another chance and talk openly with him. ask what is his priority and also explain ur true feelings towards him. if he can put a full stop now, its good, but if not than u can give him an ultimatum.
well he has to take your feelings into consideration-if not seek marriage counseling -if he wont go go alone.





and if you end up single because he does get into an affair this will help you make the best future decisions=well I would say you have to pick and check their history with others-if one is mean to another soorner or later he will be mean to you too. Please dont date a guy unless he is kind and you feel you would like him best in all the world to be with forever.


Its important he believes in honor and is not abusive. It is important to turn to Jesus and find non abusive relationships in Jesus amazing grace=Romans 1 repented of sin to be thankful and worship the creator instead of the created. Jesus is the only Person who offers the unconditional acceptance that your heart craves. Your true identity is a beautiful, celebrated, daughter of God (Isaiah 62:3-4).


On the other hand, the affection of a bad boy is always performance-based. Jesus, however, sacrificed His life to love you without expecting anything in return. Your desire to feel cherished and complete can only be met by Christ (Colossians 2:10). If you do not learn to get your need for love met in Him, then your heart can be vulnerable to a bad boy’s charisma.


In addition, human relationships only experience intimacy when both parties sacrifice for each other. By definition, a bad boy is unwilling to offer you sacrificial love. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are immune to his lack of integrity. You must be willing to walk away from a man who is unwilling to sacrifice for your needs.


Also, don’t attempt to fix a bad boy’s character flaws. Only Jesus Christ can change a man, and it generally takes years to see real improvement. Change is possible, but a man must be willing to surrender himself to God and take action. First John 4:19 says, “We love, because He first loved us.” This verse reveals that a man’s ability to love a woman is only found in the life that Jesus offers to live through him. A real man knows that he can do nothing apart from Christ (John 15:5). Therefore, ladies, reserve your heart for a guy who will rely upon Christ to love you.


Bad boys may be more common than men with character, but waiting for a man with integrity is worth it.





prayin for you, and best wishes, in Jesus care John 3 worked for me
He's probably just freaking because of pressure and stress. I'd guess he's just trying to hang on to his old youth, and I wouldn't worry about it. You can still trust him, very much so in fact. Don't worry, he still cares about you, he's just been talking to his ex for relief. But if he does something like this again in a few year, I'd watch out maybe.
you've got to do some further digging into this I'm afraid. not saying that he doesn't want you, but maybe hes freaking out right now. you both are going to have very different lives when that baby comes. could this be why he seems to be straying?