I am ready to leave my husband. Need advice as to the best approach. Anyone ever been divorced?

I asked a question earlier and got some great responses. This is the first day I've ever used this yahoo answers but I like it. Any way, My husband and I have grown apart. We got married when we were really young, and things haven't been working out. I love him a lot, but I feel like he's using me because he spends all of his money, and I work two jobs to pay our bills. I have decided after 3 years married, that the best thing for me is to leave, get a fresh start and go back to college. I am only 22 and feel that I could swing back from this, but it is the hardest decision ever. Well, I'm nearly positive that I am leaving, but how do you start that process? What is the best way to leave amicably? How much money should I save up? I'll probably just move in with my rents for a month or so to get on my feet, but I am scared and need a little advice! Thanks.I am ready to leave my husband. Need advice as to the best approach. Anyone ever been divorced?
I was in the same situation you were very young myself. You didn't mention having kids yet so your 100 x better off than I was.





You've made your decision to leave on your own so just do it. Cold Turkey, like ripping a bandage off a scab.





If dude is spending all of his money making you pay for things anyway then how will you save money to go? If you go back in with your parents then you can start saving money right away.





Sounds like he has his life style and you have yours. Roommates with benefits as opposed to spouses.





Your choice to go back to school is fantastic. You will be back on your feet and appreciate school more this time around, trust me.





You two can repair the friendship after the dust settles. It will only be worse for the both of you if you drag it through discussion and talking about it. If its over for you then its over for the both of you.





Good Luck.I am ready to leave my husband. Need advice as to the best approach. Anyone ever been divorced?
If things aren't working out you really need to move on you both are young talk it over together and if you need someone there while you talk ask your Pastor. I hope no babies are involved that way neither one of you will go through anymore heartaches and neither will the child . You didn't say whether you wanted this marriage to work or not but like I said if you are ready mentally, physically,finanacially then do so you have to be happy .
The best way to leave is to just leave. I just recently went through the same exact thing until I said forget it and I left my wife and put a note on the fridge. I feel that if I'm not respected in the relationship why should I show respect when it's over. Just leave or you will always be scared. Always remember that everything always work out for good people.
Prepare yourself mentally first, then get ready to find out who you are! Take trips to Barnes and Noble, read self help books, they'll help you find yourself more. Try ';In the Meantime'; by Iyanla Vanzant.


Find out how much a divorce in your state costs. Call a mediator, or find out how to legally separate. Then start the process.


Tell your parents, and then do it. You will be happy again don't worry.



Pack your things and go home. Give up one of your jobs so you can go to school, and the next time you let a man into your life make sure he's a real man, not a little boy who wants his wife to pay all the bills so he can do whatever he wants with his money. Now go.
Have you tried any marital counselling, or are you just trying to find a way to justify walking out because you're young and it's only been three years?





Divorce is way harder than actually taking responsibility for the things that aren't working and trying to fix them.
I'd save up maybe two months rent, get the apartment, then tell him. If he's not given to violence, then you're okay, but there may still be tears. Good luck.
I would say go.. 22 is so young.. you didn't say you had a ny children so that is a good thing.. Go back to school find the real you ..And have a happy life.. Good Luck. You can do it.
take your time and dont make any hasty decisions speak with him and see how he feels and go forward from there
CM...your a grown young woman. Step into the wilderness and see what happens. You might get lucky.
I鈥檓 assuming you have no kids in the picture which is very good thing and will make matters easier. I would suggest you start to save some money up so when you do leave you have some cash flow to work with. He doesn鈥檛 have to know about this and you should also talk to a divorce lawyer and see how much this is going to cost you. Your still very young so you should have no problem going back to school. Make a plan, stick with it and see it through. Good luck.
I also got married young. I would leave while he's gone. Take a day off that he doesn't know about %26amp; just get as much as you can %26amp; leave before he knows. Going to your parents house is the best idea. Tell them to help you stay strong, keep yourself busy. As long as you can have self control to stay away, you'll do fine. It's when you decide to go by there to talk or to pick up some things. That's when you see him %26amp; feel like maybe you should just get over it %26amp; stay. That's the hardest part, just being strong %26amp; having self control. SO HARD!!! I would leave him a letter when you leave just explaining that you've decided to leave and it's just not working out. That you have no hard feelings and would like to keep in touch in the future because you still care about how he is doing, but that for now you just need to worry about yourself %26amp; give yourself some space from him. Whatever you do, if you know if your heart %26amp; mind that you don't want to be with him, don't give him any kind of message that may make him think their is still a chance b/c that's not fair to him. Good luck %26amp; I hope everything goes smooth for you.
I would suggest that you dont set your mind on it yet. talk to him and tell him you are planning on leaving . Start off with a seperation and if it goes well then procede by filing divorce papers with the county court. You can never have enough money saved but find a good place to live with reasonable rent near your job,





When telling him be nice and try to make it amicable so not to start a fight. Avoid leaving mad. Good luck in school and i hope it all works out for you.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Do you have children? If so, this complicates the decision.





However, if there are no children involved, and if your state has no-fault divorce (I think most of them do now), ask your husband if he's willing to do it amicably. Just tell him what you said here, and that while you thought it would last forever, you're unhappy and want to move on with your life.





The best thing to do is just sit him down and talk calmly and rationally. Don't threaten, and expect him to be hurt and angry. Don't take anything he says at that time personally, as he will be hurt and angry. Give him time to cool off and think, and then persist. This could take several days, but most likely, he will let you know when he's ready to talk again and work out what's best.





I hope you find what you're looking for.
First of all find an attorney and find out what it will cost you. Then find out how much rent you will need because most times you need first and last months rent. Than add up the moving expenses. Figure out what bills he will take and what you will take. Than if you have any retirement or family that could help you out.





Sit him down and talk to him that you want out. Tell him you still want to be friends and you want to do this smoothly. He will behave how he wants to. If it is nice - suggest that you live together for a couple of months so you can each save some money. If he is not so nice - you will have to move out soon. So quit paying certain bills and save a check or two to get out ASAP. That is why you have a plan before you sit him down.