I don't think I love my husband anymore...advice?

We have almost been married 3 years. He is 29, I am 25 and we have a 22 month old son. There is no abuse or cheating. I really don't enjoy being around him. I feel he makes things miserable intentionally. I sleep in bed, him on the couch. I do not ever want to have sex with him and when we do, I don't enjoy it at all. We argue way too much and now it's even sometimes in front of our son. I don't want my son growing up and thinking that this is how marriage is supposed to be. We were at a wedding this weekend, he was in it (it was his brothers) and he barely said two words to me all night. I understand his family was all there and there was a lot of mingling to do but his wife and son were there too. He gets crabby when he doesn't get to take a 3 hour nap on the weekends and b*tches at me. When I'm at work he sometimes even naps while our son is running the house unattended. I'm tired and fed up. When do you know it's time to call the quits for good?I don't think I love my husband anymore...advice?
man thats hard i feel for you im going through half of that, but you only know when its over, its hard but you have to be the one to deside its to important. im sorry that you have to go through this you sound like a strong women. but number 1 thing is to protect your son. i have a lil girl my self and she doesnt need to see her daddy yell at mommy all the time ya know so i wish you luck best advice i can give you is to be strong listen to your heart and do what will make YOU and your SON happy GOOD LUCKI don't think I love my husband anymore...advice?
Get a different counsellor





But seriously, why did you bring a child into this situation? My fiance likes being first in my life, so we've decided to not have any kids together because him needing me is enough. I realize now it's too late but you should have thought really hard about that.
you need to find your self and then try and find out what brought the two of you together and then try find counselling and try and work it out if not for your son butfor yourself and if you try all of that then follow your heart only you know what is best for you.
I think you need to seek advise from another counselor. Maybe one for just you. To help you see things clearly. If divorce is an option for you then you will need someone to help you through the emotional baggage that goes with it.


Think of your son, though. He is your #1 priority.
Get a babysitter and go out just the two of you. I'm sure he loves you and your son more than anything, but my guess is that he feels like he's not getting enough attention. Try going out like you did before you got married. Maybe that will rekindle your love.
I THINK THE TWO OF YOU NEED TO GO AWAY FOR A WEEKEND AND LAY EVERYTHING OUT ON THE TABLE. YOU MADE A PROMISE, TIL' DEATH DO YOU PART, IN SICKNESS, IN HEALTH, FOR BETTER FOR WORSE. NOT UNTIL YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING TO ONE ANOTHER. WORK IT OUT.
Try counseling, you have a son.
I would say he's interested in someone else.


If he wasn't sleeping on the sofa prior to your child being born he's seeing someone else.


You can be in counseling and when you have one partner trying to make things work and the other is cheating (that won't come out in counseling) it can't work.


You were at a family wedding together and he still couldn't pay attention to you or his son, that's wrong and if his family can't see it, that's even worse.


Leave and make the best life you can for you and your son.


Been there, done that.
You really sound burnt out! Is there any love between you two any more? I wouldn't jump ship just yet. Please try marriage counseling. At least with counseling you can tell your side, he can tell his. There may be a lot of things going on that neither one of you know about. For example, hard feelings that build up like building blocks; misunderstandings; things that were said that one of you took the wrong way. I assume this is his second marriage. He has baggage from the first marriage that he may have carried over to your marriage, which isn't fair to you. With a baby in the picture, you need to seek professional help. At least try for the baby's sake, then move on if you two can't come to some peaceful solution. There are many steps to trying to repair a marriage through counseling. Good luck!
It sounds like he has been like this for a very long time. But then,....how could that be, because why would a women have a baby with a guy like that? This is confusing data for me. Not saying anything bad about you, it is just hard to understand. Did he suddenly turn this way after the baby? It sounds like you are real angry and that much anger usually happens because of years of fighting. I wish I could talk to you so I knew more. But based on the data I would say see if you guys could maybe go to a counselor before you give up. I am wondering when did you start feeling this way and does he really know how bad he is being? Sometimes humans hurt on purpose and sometimes on accident. Accident is easier to forgive and learn from and work out.
If it is that bad then you need to think about a divorce. I don't think counseling will do much for you and him if its like that. I don't know if you have talked to him about the issue but your son shouldn't be around that. Yes it is not good to get divorce when there is a child involved but he is young. I was very young when my parents split up and I turned out just fine.. And since you said your sun runs around unattended while he sleeps than that is just terrible. Get a lawyer and start thinking about getting a divorce if you think that is what you should do. There is no reason for you to be un-happy in a marriage. A marriage is suppose to be hard but have lots of love and it don't seem you have that. Good Luck.
I think a lot of times when we go to counseling we go in with the notion that the counselor will be able to get our spouse to make the changes we want and have been fighting for. When you go in with that kind of mindset, you will end up being disappointed. Most of the time, change usually lies within ones self.





You are responsible for your own happiness, and it has always been that way since before you even met your husband. When you marry someone then you are asking them to be a part of your happiness, and enhance the experience. If something isn't working for you, like for example, you take the same route to work every day but all of the sudden there is road construction causing lengthy delays, you do something to change it. You don't wait around for the construction workers to repair the road...you will try do something different like leave early, or you will take a different route. The same thing applies in your relationships. You change something within yourself and you will see a different outcome. Change your actions, change his reaction. If every day you got in on the passengers side of the car, and he got in on the drivers side of the car, nothing changes. However, if the next day you got in on the drivers side of the car, he would walk over to the drivers side of the car and see that something has changed. He would automatically have to react differently than he normally would, because you changed something within yourself.





It starts with small steps like that, and from there the more change you make, the more change you will see in your marriage. If you want to spend time with your husband at a wedding, then it is up to you to go after what you want, and approach him to dance or spend some time with you. It would be nice to have him approach you but with all that is going on, he might be thinking that it might not be the right thing to do at a wedding if you could end up in another fight.





When you start taking charge of your happiness and going after what you want in your life, your husband is going to notice that something has changed in you, and he is going to wonder what it is. The change in you will cause him to change. When you start taking charge of your life, you will begin to feel happier and more confident, and it will help you to determine whether or not this marriage can be saved. Change starts with you. Good luck.