I'm about Fed up with Husband Any Advice ?

So my Husband And I have been together 10 years and married for 4 He use to be a really responsible man and now I wish I could just get him to act half way like he use to. He's started smoking pot and Hiding it because he knows I will flip out if I find it which I totally don't understand because if he gets caught or hurt at work hes going to get fired and he's the only with a job %26amp; I'm 4 months Pregnant. He will go to the bank and take out our bill money and say he owed it to someone, I try to talk to him about it and he says everything I want to hear and then go's right back and has me find clear eyes and cologne in his car, or he gets mad and screams at me or something. I mean what is going on. He's sick almost every weekend, pulled a muscle or Has a sore throat so he wants to just lay around and I can't even spend time with him, then like this weekend he says he is sick and he thinks its an excuse I woke up to the house with clothes every where I mean every time we talk we basically argue, does any one have any ideas what the hell is going on ?I'm about Fed up with Husband Any Advice ?
you need to find out what is behind this behavior-obviously something or someone has a bad infuence on him-get to the bottom of it and then work on getting him help for the problem-good luck-4 month pregnant you should not have this worry!I'm about Fed up with Husband Any Advice ?
This person you married needs some big time help. You can use the word NO on him. Good luck and make sure he gets some help, there's free clinics in almost every city, or at a hospital, you do not need another child.. meaning the husband.
Sound like he cares about him and only him.





Before you bring a baby into this world really think twice.





Doesn't sound like he is too responsible.





I would get rid of him or give him an ultimatum to grow up.





Sounds like he loves pot more then you and the baby inside of you.


Good luck
i think he needs to get help, the poor baby needs a dad and if he still is doing bad things she/he will probaly do the same.
sorry this happens when you are pregnant! I think he got into bad friendship these days. Could you try to talk things out?
Here's my guess......you're pregnant, this is your first child and therefore he can't deal with it.
he is a loser, thats whats going on, dump him and find a winner
I would go to a support group such as alanon. People there will be able to help you understand what you are dealing with. There are Christian-based groups such as Celebrate Recovery that are held world-wide. These groups will help you to gain insight into your particular situation and how to respond in a healthy way that will benefit both you, your husband, and your little one (in the future!).


Or if counseling is an option you might look into that. This could help you to be better able to cope with things. However, it is my opinion that the sooner you get some assistance/support to learn how to deal with this more effectively..............then the sooner the possibility of things improving.


My prayers go out to you and your family.......I do believe that things can get better. Remember, with God ALL things are possible! I wish you the best. Take care.
So he is unhappy... leave him and find someone better?





Or talk to him, see whats wrong, maybe you could get a job also..





It's sounds more like he's popping pain pills/Anti-depressents to me.





I Don't get why people say Weed makes you lazy. I've smoked weed for the last 20 years and I have a very busy lifestyle. don't use it as a scapegoat.


The problems start with your relationship, not drugs..
He's turning into an addict. He's smoking pot and probably drinking too. It definitely turns someone that is highly motivated and active into a demotivated slug. It makes a person just not care about what used to be important. He may also be doing this as an escape from the pressure of being a new father and all the responsibility and pressures that go along with it. Sounds like he is not real thrilled at the prospect. Do not arugue with him. It will only make him go to it more.





Ask him to speak with you about what is on his mind and seems to be stressing him. Take care of everything that you can since you are not working. Don't argue, don't argue. Is there a job that you can get part time to take off some of the strain? You need to talk to him and get him to realize that you love him, reassure him and help him right now. Tell him you that you are so concerned because you see what he cannot. He is turning into a man you don't recognize and you are scared. Don't argue. It won't fix it.
It sounds like more than pot. Maybe he is doing other types of drugs, which can cause massive change in behavior. Tell him he needs to get into a drug rehab program. 12 Step meetings (Narcotics Anonymous) don't cost a thing. If you can find free counseling together, that might help too. Catholic Social Services might be able to offer free counseling and help for his drug problem. It's not going to be a religious thing. They offer genuine help. We pay taxes to organizations like this so why not use it?
he's an adult he makes the money so he can spend it.why don't you get a job at least 4 hours a day to help out. you said he just started smoking, NO he has smoked all the time and you knew it. you don't smoke cause your pregnant.your trying to change cause your going to be a mom. man don't do that he will always be who he is! stop picking on the little things and enjoy your pregnancy, the moments now, will never come back. be more loving and let him hold you so he can start bonding with the baby.make a pack with yourself that your not going to argue. be happy
please honey, don't get fed up! I see where you coming from. Your husband developed this behavior which in fact as you put them, he didn't acted like that. So here we got influence, reality, facts and potentials. In Psychology we learn about conditions.


The first step is evaluate yourself. What you used to do when thing were normal and that you are not doing it now. How you have changed, is it better or worse or remain the same. how do you affect his life or what really bothers him about you that he won't tell you. There must be something you are doing that bothers him and he is shy to tell you. Secondly change your tactics they way you approach things and stop accusing him. This makes the matter worse. Instead appraise him. Show him love/ care etc. Change the way talk to him. soften yourself and work things as they were in the beginning. Just assume what he is doing now. Remember you want to get to the bottom of this change of behavior. Record any improvement. Sit down with him and don't point finger or blame but talk about you. How you have changed, how you are causing him stress that you see is affecting him to an extend that you fear the worst to come. Ask him to be genuine with you on what you need to do, how you ought to treat him, what you need to do to gain his trust and he family, etc come up with a creative true story similar to what you are going through and the outcome of it. e.g I had my aunt who was married. He was actually mistreating her husband without knowing and her husband got influence with friends, started hanging out doing all crazy things and we blamed him for what he was doing. Little did we knew that what was pushing him doing what he was doing was as a result of stress he suffered from being mistreated by his wife and he never said it. until a tragedy happened. He didn't tell my aunt since they were separated but he can clean and told us why he was Doing thing the way he was doing and why he wanted to divorce my aunt etc. State that you learned from that incident and that's why you are blaming yourself for what is happening in your family and you want to make things better and don't get stressed like he did etc


Please don't pointer finger and blame him since are doing a research to get to the bottom of your problem. Ask him for what you can do/ change etc politely.


Given a free choice and pretty of option, he will come clean but if you it you continue blaming him or arguing with him, he will see that as a threat. This is what you have to avoid and make him at easy to express his change of behavior. Once truth is out, see advice from Pschologist experts on way to move forward
He is an addict, plain and simple. If you stick around you'll just enable him. If you leave him, and he's working you will get child support. It may be just the thing to wake him up! But if you stay in this abusive, yes, I said abusive his addiction is abusive to you and your unborn. You have to save yourself, he's only going to drag you and your child down with him. Don't believe anybody that says you need to be with him or you'll end up homeless and on the street, Even that is better than what he is putting you through. At least your head is clear and you have a clue. let him stew himself down to a pile of mush if that's what he wants.
look!i have the same problem.he needs to stop smoking pot because my husband smokes pot he got hurt at work and now hes fired cuz they drug tested him.now here we are with my son and me and him(loser)lol,worried about wheres this months rent coming from!so u either wanna be out in the sts with kids or u wanna tell him you will leave just to see if he acts right....if not,then he doesnt care about you and your kid!believe me hun dont be like me...it dont feel good!
How is he not responsible if you're only 4 months pregnant and he's the only one with a job?????





Often, people use street drugs in an attempt to self-medicate. It's a way for them to temporarily escape from life situations that seem to hard too deal with. He's solely responsible for supporting himself, you, whatever children you already have, the home, bills, and a new baby. In case it's never dawned on you, that's a hell of a lot of responsibility for one person. On top of that, he's got to come home to a wife he obviously loves and wants to take care of and worry that she's going to 'flip out' on him, argue, and make demands on the time he'd like to spend resting. I have no idea what the significance is of finding the house 'with clothes everywhere'. My wife and I always share chores, but when she was home from work (the last month of her pregnancies), she ran errands, cleaned the house and I took care of the rest of the chores.





You're not going to argue him out of smoking pot. Chasing him down and searching his car, like the mother of a teenager isn't going to help you either. What might help is acknowledging his hard work and attempt to be a good man and provider. Acknowledging his physical and emotional fatigue might be a good idea too. You might also consider trying to not give him a hard time when he gets home. Then, after he sees that it's OK for him to be tired, and that what he does is actually appreciated (because saying he's not responsible doesn't sound like you do), talk to him in a calm and quiet way about his drug use. Let him know that it upsets you. Let him know that it doesn't seem like something a good parent does and you worry about children growing up in a household with a parent who indulges in illegal activities. Talk to him about entering treatment if need be.





One thing is for sure. You can catch more flies with honey.