Need advice on husband with a bad temper?

My husband is generally a decent person but his greatest flaws are his bad temper and his constant state of denial. What I mean by state of denial is that he will always deny saying something or doing something and it makes it very difficult to communicate with someone who claims ';amnesia'; all the time. He's in his 30s so his ';amnesia'; is not medical related. He just likes to re-write history the way he likes it. There is no point in doing marriage counselling because he will just deny doing or saying anything. My parents have tried counselling us before but it goes no where because he just denies everything and makes stuff up. After he screams and yells at me and gets his frustrations out, he will then be very nice to me afterwards. He is able to forget all the yelling episode quickly but I find it difficult to just forget it. He asks why I can't just let it go the way he does but I simply can't because the hurt is already too deep. We have 2-3 weeks of bliss followed by another 2-3 weeks of pain and anguish and fighting. I don't think I can deal with that anymore because I need a more stable environment. I need him to be a little nicer all the time and not be extremely nice to me after he lashes out at me. I am not his punching bad and refuse to be one. I want a trial separation but my parents won't let me have one because they want us to stick it out. They don't understand the pain I'm going through and I'm really torn. I just need some advice as to what I can do under such circumstance. How do you deal with a husband like this?Need advice on husband with a bad temper?
1. Prozac!!! Seriously he may have depression or bipolar (even mildly) that effect how he can deal with things. I would bet that he will not openly admit to wanting/needing help but that inwardly he wants to be forced to do something about it. Push him to see a doctor, say it is for sleeping problems or something else.





2. Sorry but ';I DARE YOU'; is correct, you have no duty to stay in a bad situation for your parents sake. Your parents are worth honoring if they are good parents, if they want you to stay in an abusive situation then they are bad parents and deserve neither honor nor respect.Need advice on husband with a bad temper?
What a spoilt brat. Tell him to quit the temper tantrums or you're out of there. Don't let it go on a moment longer. He is a bully.
wow...you must be very miserable...why do you allow you life to be this way? I shall never understand...
get out...x
1. Your parents can't stop you from doing anything in your marriage. You're an adult. They have their opinions but that's it. Do what you feel is best. I happen to agree with your parents. Separation is usually the beginning of the end for a marriage.





2. Without specifics it's hard to say if your husband is really mean or you're just sensitive. It could be a combination of the two. Try a different approach with him. When he's in a good mood, talk to him. Don't accuse him of being mean. Just bring up an incident and ask him if he could please try to tell you things before he gets so angry so you can try to do better. Its communication, you just haven't learned how to effectively communicate with each other.
My heart goes out to you, if your husband is unwilling to admit his temper is a real problem then nothing you, your parents or a cousellor can say or do will help. His ';amnesia'; is a form of denial, which allows him to ignore his anger problem and ill treatment of you. The only person who can help to change his behaviour is himself and if he refuses to even admit there is a problem it seems that you have no where else to go with your marriage.





Maybe a trial separation will make him realise he has a problem, if you try this and he does seek help do not be too quick to return until you are certain that he has changed or you will be back to square one. This sort of anger problem cannot be resolved in a few weeks or even months.





No one should have to live in these circumstances, if your parents will not support you and you decide to leave start making preparations now and get some money together and a safe place to go. A couple of sites below with information which can help you do this.





Your parents have no right to tell you that you have to spend your life with an abuser, which is what he is, mental/emotional/verbal abuse can be as harmful and painful as physical abuse. I see that you don't want to hurt your parents but you really have to put yourself first, your husband is and even your parents are putting their own wishes above your needs. It will take a lot of courage for you to do this but for your own sake and for the sake of any children you have or might have in the future you and they deserve better.





Good Luck
';I need a more stable environment. I need him to be a little nicer all the time';





Have you told him this?


If you have, and he continues to ignore your needs then time to separate.





';but my parents won't let me have one because they want us to stick it out. ';





Uh... your old enough to get married, so your old enough to make your own decisions... if you are still doing what your parents tell you to do, then your not adult enough to be married. You sound like you are still a child, so perhaps its best you go move back in with your parents like a child and let them deal with you.





ADD: '; I feel like I have an obligation to my parents to make them happy '; .... actually you have an obligation to your spouse, not your parents. If your parents happiness is all that matters to you, then again its best you go move back into your old bedroom and be a child again. The day you got married, was the day you made it clear to the world you are a grown woman... so act like it!





ADD: '; I just want some impartial advice because obviously I am not getting it from my own family.';





If your own family can't give you advice, then why are they so important to you? If you are obligated to stay a little baby then take their advice and stick with it... it seems you are stuck in a childish mentality, and your mommy's opinion is all that matters... so go move back in with her and be a baby again.





I don't blame your husband, he thought he married a woman but instead he got a child still attached to her mothers teet.
i understand you. i am not in a relationship but is friend with my daughters father who does the same thing...we have been hanging out alot but he wants to be more..and i have told him that i am not interested..i have been in realtionships where my heart was with that person but theirs not with me...so God stepped in and said that it was time for me to wake up and stop wasting my time with these guys who have no good intention...so it makes it hard for me to talk to him or be a true friends he says alot of hurtful things......all i can say to you is turn to God.....he will lead you....pray.. honestly since i have turn my life over to god it has been great..i do not want to be in a relationship any time soon...i think men has alot of growing up to do...and when they do not have god in their life it is a mess.